Odette P.

Nacionales POPCOM

28 February 2006 Kuhala Bay, Cardona Rizal

By the end of this session, the participants should be able to:

    

Differentiate human sexuality from sex, sexual orientation, etc; Illustrate the major components of sexuality in the context of their own personal experiences; Discuss how sexuality-related choices and decisions can affect the life and future of adolescents; Recognize the importance of talking openly and honestly sexuality related matters to adolescents; and Clarify and demystify some of the more common sexual myths adolescents are exposed to.
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In our culture, discussing or talking about sex and sexuality related matters has traditionally been a taboo and forbidden topics; Discovering our own sexuality is an important component of knowing ourselves better and relating effectively with others; Understanding it would makes us appreciate the sexual tendencies and behaviors that have implication on the sexual health of adolescents and youth.
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 is the totality of our personhood



It encompasses the individuals total personality, particularly his/her way of thinking, behaving, loving and relating with other individuals and with God. Sexuality helps us to define our feelings of self-worth. It is one of the most important factors that shape our identity and helps us define who we are. Becoming sexually healthy and personally effective requires discovering, understanding and appreciating our own sexuality.

Human sexuality is complex. It goes beyond mere physical expressions and sexual organs.
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Being able to talk openly and honestly about sexuality to your children/adolescent is important. It helps sort out their feelings, develop their own personal sexual standards, understand the viewpoints of others and obtain information needed to make responsible sexual decisions. Sexual ignorance or lack of information about their own body can also cause disappointments and inability to give and receive sexual pleasure in the future.
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Continued
Young people should recognize that their body is a gift from God. It is something to be appreciated and not to be ashamed of. Each and every individual (adults or adolescents) should understand and appreciate their sexuality to be able to make responsible decisions. This is the best way of harnessing the gift that we have received from God. Our adolescents should know that basing sexuality related decisions on misinformation or false beliefs can have serious and distressing consequences such as an unintended or unwanted pregnancy, a sexually transmitted disease, or other such problems.
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Our SEXUALITY has five (5) major components:

1. OUR SEX 2. OUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION 3. OUR GENDER IDENTITY 4. OUR SEXUAL IDENTITY (BODY IMAGE) 5. OUR VALUES AND ATTITUDES, FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS
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being male or female and our bodies, how it develops and works.

It includes the biological concerns on reproductive anatomy and physiology.

Humans have two (2) sexes - - - male and female. Sex is determined when the egg is fertilized. Men ejaculate equal amounts of two (2) types of sperm; one type will produce a boy, the other will produce a girl. The babys sex will depend on which type of sperm fertilizes the egg.
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being straight, gay, lesbian or bisexual.

It is a sexual preference of an individual as regards to the sex of a person he/she is attracted to or the sex of his/her partner in a sexual relationship.

Sexual orientation is not a choice. It is not something people can decide for themselves or for others. It has a very strong genetic component and is not purely determined by life experiences.
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It concerns on the individual s sex roles and stereotypes.

It is a psychological sense of being male or female and our personal and/or social norms for feminine or masculine behavior. The prescribed gender roles for women and men reinforce the imbalance of power relations between the sexes which are likely to be manifested in the persons expression of her/his sexuality.
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our feelings about our body and about our being a man and a woman.

It includes concerns on relationships and intimacy, sexual response, sexual awakening, and other sexual concerns, such as frigidity and impotence. Two major questions associated with Sexual Identity: 1) Who am I sexually? 2) How P.do I relate to others as a sexual person? Odette Nacionales
POPCOM

about life, love and the people our lives touch.

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is a product of what we are born with and our own unique life experiences that have shaped our attitudes, feelings and values towards ourselves and towards other people.
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Some of the most difficult choices and decisions an adolescent will make will be related to their sexuality.
1)

These CHOICES will shape their decisions about friendships, relationships, family, school and career. These CHOICES will shape their future and the type of life they will have. The CHOICES AND DECISIONS they make reflect their values, beliefs and priorities.
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2)

3)

In addition to deciding what is right for them, they also need to decide how to do what is right for them. This isn t always easy.

It is important to know their own self and how he/she thinks and feels. What makes them comfortable and what doesnt. What they want and what they dont want.

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Thinking about their answers to these questions will help them understand their real feelings about sex:
 What are my sexual limitsam I clear with myself about  What I will do and wont do?  Do I want to have sex?  Does my partner want to have sex?  Am I ready for sex?  Am I ready for the possible consequences of my behavior?  What are my feelings for the other person?  Do we communicate will?  Have we talked about this?  Are we loving and caring friends?  What do I want to get out of it?  Do I have accurate information about sex?
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Only you know what sex means for you Is it about:          Having someone who loves you, Feeling special and worthwhile, Developing a relationship, Finding a life partner, Keeping a relationship going, Waiting until marriage, Satisfying a physical need, Becoming accepted and popular, or Getting to be a part of the in group.

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What

sex means for your adolescent, may change over their lifetime.

One thing to keep in mind as adolescents make their decisions is that saying NO to pre-marital presex is a valid option. option. Saying NO is OK.
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IF you dont feel ready, DONT DO IT! IF you have mixed feelings and are under a lot of pressure from your friends and/or partner, DONT DO IT! IF you have doubts, DONT DO IT!
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There are a variety of good reasons to choose abstinence:

1.It is the right thing to

do.
2.You are not ready for

sex
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3.This is the safe and

is the only completely safe behavior. Thus if you choose it, you should feel good about it. You should feel proud about your choice.
 Practicing abstinence is not always easy.  If abstinence is your choice, you need to think

about the sources of that pressure and how to avoid or resist them. choose abstinence.

 It is important to realize that its never too late to

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Parents should tell their adolescents that there are a number of ways to tell when theyre not ready for sex. You are not ready to have sex if:
 You think sex equals love.  You feel pressured and afraid to say no.  You just want to have sex because you think everybody is doing it.  You just want to have sex to get it over with.  You are doing it to prove something.  You are not really sure if you should do it or that you want to do it.  Your instincts/feelings tells you not to.  You are not sure how you feel about your partner or how your partner feels about you.  You think it will make your partner love you and it will keep you together.  You are not thinking about tomorrow (i.e. how having sex can affect your relationship,

the well-being of your partner and/or change both of your lives)  You are not willing to take on the responsibility of parenthood if you or your partner becomes pregnant and has a child.  You dont know how to protect yourself.  You cannot/have not talked to your partner about sex.  You P. Nacionales embarrassed to talk to your partner about safe sex. Odette are too POPCOM  You are under the influence of drugs or any other substance.

As we have seen earlier, the development of sexuality is very much cultureculturebound. It is surrounded by false beliefs, stereotypes and misconceptions:
MYTH 1 : A real male always wants and is always ready to have sex. FACT : Masculinity is not dependent on the number of ones sexual partners or on how frequently one experiences sex. Some males simply dont want to have sex. They may think that sex before marriage is wrong or know that they are not yet ready for it. Not all males who have sex are always ready for it. SURFACE the type of teasings (kantiyaws) that known male virgins get MYTH 2 : There is something wrong with a guy if he has not had sex by the time he is 15. FACT : There is no magical age at which someone should be having sex. Because someone does not want to have sex, does not mean there is anything wrong with them.

MYTH 3 : If you dont express your sexuality freely, you must be repressed, sick or frigid/impotent. FACT : There are researches which indicate that sexually active teenagers are more likely to be prone to alcohol abuse, use of illegal drugs, and are also more likely to have trouble in school. Sexually active girls were also reported to be more likely to be depressed, feel lonely, have low self-esteem or attempt suicide. MYTH 4 : Males have stronger sex drives and are more interested in sex than females. FACT : Sexuality is shared equally by males and females. No one is more sexual than the other. The female sexual drive can be just as strong as the male. However, Philippine society has traditionally allowed males to express their interest in sex more openly. This is attributed to the prevailing stereotype that males are more sexually aggressive than females and must release these desires as part of their being normal males.
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As we have seen earlier, the development of sexuality is very much cultureculturebound. It is surrounded by false beliefs, stereotypes and misconceptions:
MYTH 5 : Sex creates intimacy. FACT : Sex can be an expression of intimacy but it is not the means to intimacy. True intimacy is not built through sexual encounters. True intimacy is built on trust, respect, understanding, honesty and commitment. When unrestrained physical intimacy dominates a relationship, other parts of that relationship suffer. MYTH 6 : Casual sex without long term commitments is both fun and freeing. FACT : Those who settle for hit and run, short term casual sex, are settling for second best sex. A noted journalist describes casual sex as a diet of fast food served in plastic containers. DEEPEN discussions. ASK: What are other ways you can show you love somebody? REFER to Trainers Supplementary Materials on 101 Ways To Show You Love Someone. If you are running this session together with the Session on Module 1/ARH, Unit 3, Session 3: Love: Faces and Pitfalls, you need not discuss this. MYTH 7 : If you love someone, you are going to want to have sex with him or her. FACT : While we often use the term making love for sexual intercourse, love and sex are not the same thing. There are many ways to show love besides having sex. MYTH 8 : All teenagers are having intercourse these days. FACT : While there are teenagers who are having sex, there are many who are not. Many of those who have done it, did not really want to. They let themselves get talked into it.
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There are a number of ways to tell when youre not ready for sex.
You are not ready to have sex if:
 You think sex equals love.  You feel pressured and afraid to say no.  You just want to have sex because you think everybody is doing it.  You just want to have sex to get it over with.  You are doing it to prove something.  You are not really sure if you should do it or that you want to do it.  Your instincts/feelings tells you not to.  You are not sure how you feel about your partner or how your partner feels about you.  You think it will make your partner love you and it will keep you together.  You are not thinking about tomorrow (i.e. how having sex can affect your relationship,

the well-being of your partner and/or change both of your lives)  You are not willing to take on the responsibility of parenthood if you or your partner becomes pregnant and has a child.  You dont know how to protect yourself.  You cannot/have not talked to your partner about sex.  You are too embarrassed to talk to your partner about safe sex. Odette P. Nacionales POPCOM are under the influence of drugs or any other substance. You

Remember! It is a tough time to be a teenager

 They are constantly surrounded by sexual

talk and images.

 They may also be experiencing strong

sexual feelings.
 They must decide what is right for them

and how they can do it.

This isnt always easy!

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Important Reminders:
One : There is a lot of misinformation about sexuality which gets passed around from person to person. Two : Peer pressure is a fact of life. You need to know how to handle it. If you withstand the pressure and make your own decisions, you are on your way to being a healthier and happier adult. Three: In saying NO to early sexual involvement, you are making a positive choice. You are saying YES to personal growth and responsible sexuality and a healthy and happy life.
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for your attention

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Clarifying Meanings
REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH (RH)
is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity in all matters relating to the reproductive system and its functions and processes.
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Reproductive Health implies that:

    

Everyone has the right to a satisfying and safe sex life. Everyone has the capability to reproduce and decide, if and when, and how often to do so. Couples must exercise their rights with responsibility. Every individual has the right to access to information on sexuality and other reproductive health matters. Everybody has the right to remain free of disease, disability or death associated with their sexuality and reproduction.
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The government has a significant role in creating an environment where individuals achieve their reproductive health goals through provision of appropriate and timely information and services.


The Macapagal-Arroyo administration states that Health services, including Reproductive Health services, are devolved by the Local Government Code to the Local Government Units (LGUs); Local Government Units have the responsibility of providing couples and individuals with information and services to enable them to exercise Responsible Parenthood; The Government commits itself to continuously adopt general development programs which are cognizant of the interrelations between and among population factors, the biophysical environment and socio-economic and cultural forces; and The country as a whole does not condone abortion as method of family planning.
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Goals of Reproductive Health

   

Achieve healthy sexual development and maturation; Achieve the individuals reproductive intention or goals; Avoid illnesses/diseases, injuries and disabilities related to sexuality and reproduction; Receive appropriate counseling, care, rehabilitation with regards to their RH problems to ensure the following:
Every pregnancy is intended; Every birth is healthy; Every sex act is free of coercion and illness Couples desired family size is achieve.

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ADOLESCENT SEXUAL AND REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH (ASRH) refers to the health and well-being of
female and male adolescents in terms of sexuality, pregnancy, birth, and related conditions, diseases, infections and illnesses including diagnosis, treatment and care.


Adolescent Reproductive Health (ARH) is one of the key elements of the Reproductive Health Programme in the country. ASRH encompasses the different changes that happen during adolescents, their challenges and the risks they are faced with. It also includes description of appropriate services and information including those on STD and sexual abuse to be made available to the adolescents.

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PUBERTY is an important part of the sexual

development of adolescents. It is accompanied by important physical changes that signal that the individual is moving from childhood to adulthood.


During puberty boys and girls undergo some of the greatest physical changes of their lives. The changes generally occur over a five year period, but can occur in as little as 18 months or as long as six years. As young peoples bodies change, many adolescents naturally develop an interest in sex. The combination of biological changes with exposure to sexual messages in everyday life, can lead to young people only focusing on the physical aspect of sexual relations. Inadequate information about their sexuality most often lead them to undesirable consequences through their impulsive sexual behaviors.

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Dyad Guide Questions:

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

How did you learn about sexuality? When you are still adolescent, with whom did you discuss sexuality-related matters? Did you like the way you learned about sexuality? What would you have wanted to be different? Where do you think your values about sexuality come from? How did you learn them? What are your familys values about ________________ (fill the blank with topics that you are curious about, these might include: dating, courtship, virginity, marriage, abstinence, pre-marital sex, contraception, pregnancy, etc.)

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