Nu s-a stabilit exact momentul declicului, dar la un moment dat, poate într-

o miercuri, s-a instaurat brusc frica de texte lungi. Pe anumite site-uri

există chiar de la început opțiunea care îți estimează cât o să îți ia să citești
un anumit text: 3 minute, 5 minute, 7 minute etc. Cărțile pentru copii au și
ele o categorie specială: povești de 3 minute sau de 10 minute. Scriam
de un automat de literatură cu trei butoane: un minut, trei minute sau cinci
minute, în funcție de cât timp vrei să citești. (Ar fi o chestie să se inventeze
etichete din astea și pentru romane: Două luni. O zi. Două săptămâni și 4
zile. Niciodată). 

Așa că cine ar avea tupeul în publicitate să scrie texte lungi pe panouri? Un

ziar din Elveția. Neue Zürcher Zeitung. Campania creată de Scholz &
Friends este ironică, sinceră și are texte lungi. De ce le-ar citi oamenii? Din
cel puțin trei motive: curiozitate, plictiseală și pentru că cititul nu are
legătură cu lungimea textului.

Apparently, for why else would you be reading this otherwise uninteresting-
looking poster? We’re especially pleased that your curiosity appears to be of
the more in-depth sort and not one that needs some sensationalistic
headline to awaken. They say particularly shocking topics, particularly
famous people and particularly adorable babies work best. We don’t have
anything against any of those per se; we just don’t like begging for
attention. That’s probably why our poster is so unexciting. Which is ironic,
since what we’re offering really is very exciting: a three-month trial
subscription to the Neue Zürcher Zeitung for the extraordinarily low price
of just one Swiss franc. We didn’t advertise our offer with a sensationalistic
headline because we want it to benefit only truly curious people. To receive
the subscription, you need to register at nzz.ch/neugierig1. We aren’t
worried about you being able to remember the address because scientific
studies have shown that our brain can remember new information better if
our curiosity has already been awakened. And yours appears to be wide
awake.

Aha.
It would seem you’re not put off by the idea of reading a longer bit of text.
These days, that’s seen as somewhat unusual. People say the demands we
can place on an average reader’s attention span are declining. Reports on
the issue often point to digital sensory overload as the cause. The concrete
figures with regards to maximum attention span vary substantially and are
sometimes quite creative. For instance, there is a long-standing rumour
that it is just eight seconds, which is less than that of a goldfish. The
goldfish achieves a whole nine seconds. In our opinion, that’s an unfair
comparison: surely a goldfish is usually concentrating on something
significantly less strenuous than reading. Since you have read on this far,
you’re almost certain to score above the average, and for above-average
readers we are making a special offer in this text, hidden, as it were. We
haven’t mentioned it until now because we wanted to make sure it didn’t
fall into the wrong hands. It’s for a trial subscription to the Neue Zürcher
Zeitung for an especially attractive price: three months for a single Swiss
franc. You can get it by signing up here: nzz.ch/nzz.ch/aha1. The “aha” is
easy to remember, we think, because that’s how this text starts. We look
forward to your registration.

Boredom

While waiting for a bus or train, it’s a common occurrence. Perhaps you’ve
heard the widely held opinion that only dumb people experience boredom.
We think that’s pretty dumb – not bored people, mind you, the diagnosis.
After all, boredom is the result of not being sufficiently challenged, which in
itself presupposes a certain mental ambition. Thus, boredom is really sort
of beautiful: it makes us think and urges us into action. You, for instance,
have decided to take a look at your surroundings and read our poster. A
decision which has the potential to banish boredom from your life entirely
for three months. How? Because we have a very special offer for mentally
ambitious people like you: a three-month trial subscription to the Neue
Zürcher Zeitung for just one Swiss franc. All you have to do is sign up at
nzz.ch/langeweile1. The page is quite boring, but the articles that come to
your mailbox or your smartphone are all the more exciting.