A POTPORRI OF RELAXATION TECHNIQUESVULNERABILITY CHECKLISTS The following comes from LH. Miller and A.D. Smith of Boston University Medical Center. Mark each item from 1 (“almost always) to 5 ("never") as each item applies to you. eat at least one hot balanced meal each day. I get seven to eight hours slep atleast four night per week. give and receive affection regularly. T have at least one relative within 50 miles on whom I can rely. exercise to the point of perspiration at least twice each week. T smoke less than half a pack of cigarettes a day. Ttake fewer than five alcoholic drinks each week. am the appropriate weight for my height. have an income adequate to meet basic expenses. 1 get strength from my religious beliefs. I regularly attend club or social activities. Thave a network of friends and acquaintances. Thave one or more friends to confide in about personal matters Tam in good health (including eyesight, hearing, teeth). Tam able to speak openly about my felings when angry or worried {have regular conversations with people I live with about domestic problems (e.g. HILLEL oe 1m we We es REESE chores, money, daily issues) ‘do something for fun at least once a week. Tam able to organize my time effectively. 1 drink fewer than three cups of coffee/tea/cola drinks each day. T take quiet time for myself during the day. ULL LLLLLLL! | TOTAL To get your real score, add up all scores and subtract 20. Ifyour score is over 30, you are ‘vulnerable to stress. This vulnerability can be serious if your score is between 50-75 and is over 75 points. you may be extremely vulnerable ifThe "Quickie" A3 minute Relaxation Exercise: One of the best techniques for relieving stress is to do deep breathing and systematic relaxation exercises regularly. For times when you don't have the 10-15 minutes for this, however, here's a mini-version of relaxation therapy that requires only 3 minutes of your time. Do it as often during the day as you can, you'll soon feel the difference in your stress level. Shut your eyes and draw your attention and concentration inward. Smile inwardly with your mouth and eyes. Say to yourself: "Alert mind, calm body." Take a deep breath all the way down to your abdomen. As you exhale, let your jaw, tongue, and shoulders go limp. Feel a wave of warmth and heaviness sweep down to your toes. Enjoy the feeling of peace and relaxation that this brings. Open your eyes and resume normal activity.HOW TO 1 How to Relax and Handle Pressure DO THE RELAXATION EXERCISE: Lie on the bed or floor wit a pillow. Clench your fists hard, keeping he Fst of your body relaxed. Count slowly from 1-5 to yourself. Relax your fists Imaging the tension draining out. One ata time, tense, count to 5, and then relax the following muscles: Forearms (below the elbow) Biceps (bend arms at elbow to tense: relax by straightening arms) Shoulders (to tense, shrug them up as close to ears as possible) ‘Neck (try to touch chin to chest) Jaws (to tense, bite teeth together hard; to relax, let mouth drop open slightly) Face Muscles (squint eyes, frown, pucker lips) Chest (Take deep breath, hod for 5 sec.; then let go) Stomach (pull in as far as possible) Lower back and buttocks Thighs Calves Feet (point toes as far from face as possible) REMEMBER: Bene Take your time! Each time you tense a muscle group, keep rest of body relaxed Practice every day. Start becoming aware of when and where you'e tense throughout the day and imagine the tension draining out of those muscles. Practice deep breathing (hand on upper chest and 1 on stomach above the waist; Frnale deeply so lower hand goes out first, then upper hand. Fill ngs from bottom up). Go slowly so you dont get light-headed Imagine a peaceful scene “Think positive thoughts and expect good things for yourself Get family members to help with chores - and praise them! Get cooperation of neighbors10. i 12. 13. 14, 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. TIPS TO REDUCE STRESS Deal with the cause. Talk out your troubles. Friends, self-help groups and professional counseling can help you identify your needs and meet them. Learn to pace yourself. Set goals and reward your own achievements. Escape for a while.. Daily for a few minutes. Weekly for a few hours. Annually for a vacation Realize your limits and plan around them. Take one thing at a time. Set priorities. Work off your anger. Hard physical exercise helps. Do something for others. Eat sensibly and get plenty of rest. Don't try to be perfect. Go easy with criticism... of yourself and others. Give the other fellow a break. Make yourself "available." Others need your friendship and support as well. Plan for Change. Have fun. Recreation is important too. Develop a positive and outgoing attitude. Accept the fact that life's struggles change but never end. Be patient with changes that you initiate. ‘Slow down in one area of your daily life. Don't fight against forces over which you have no control. Make a constructive “worry” list so that your worries are visible. Close your eyes and take deeps breaths when you get tense.sereunyoyu ene) OZ Jeo: Sjubju pood © 306 pue Aysee deaise ies 1 “GL Soysniq pue roy S106 ee) AW “BL wiem pus Aip Ajjensn o1e spuey AW “LL i ayo Jeppeiq Aw Aidwa oy eney| “OL T wopSebipul 10 seye yoRWors Aq pexeyiog we] “SL rc Toor pue S186uy Aw uj BuyBup pue ssouquinu jo s6uyjoo} 1061 “PL 2 Jyseo ano pue uj eypeesq ued] “EL 7 omit 199) 20 sods Bupwyes oney “ZL Syeds Azzip Aq pazoynog we} “LL Jee) Bupeoq weay Aw ee) ued] “OL ‘Ayseo ips YS ued pue wes jee] = — “6 ‘Ausee pain ye6 pue xem [99} | Ted yoeq pue yooU “sayoepeaY Aq poxeyIOg WE | eiquien pus eqeys so] pue suue AW Ueddey qm peq Buypou pue 146. | 3] BuypAI@Ae WeUR 1995 | ‘00010 0} Bujod pue ede Buyje} Ws, O41 192) | Fyaqued 1995 10 Aysea yesdn 196 | [le 18 UOSEA! OU 10} Pyesye 192} | Tensn UBL SnoyXue pue SNOAJEU G1OU 199} | auyy ay fo nV 40 780W auiyy 24) fo und poop amity ays Jo amos, ult ay) fo pT V YO 2WoNMaking Your Home Less Stressful ‘The home is not always a haven from stress. Infact, family life is very stressful Demands being made by ri dhen and spouses often seem never-ending. Many times, tensions from work are carried into the home where anger and frustrations are dumped a the expense of other family members, Relocating the family due to job promotions or corporate moves is becoming commonplace and can cause ‘additional crises. Financial concerns also impact almost daily of family lives nl ! ‘Although good communication between family members is important in order to solve these everyday problems, there are other steps you can take to make your home more relaxed. © Expect your family to be less than perfect and allow a mixture of feelings to be expressed. © Leam to express and deal with anger without hurting others © Determine the issues that are producing arguments and try to work them out starting with the easiest and gradually working toward resolving the most difficult © Do not always subordinate your needs to the children's demands © Be confident in your own decisions and communicate this to the rest of the family © Lear to find strengths in the family members and reinforce this behavior © Take the time to discuss family issues through regular meeting times Try to Relax i “These easily implemented steps can diffuse any built up tensions that are making the house less than relaxing. It is essential to interrupt stress-producing situations before they escalate into ‘major family crisis situations. aSome Positive Ways to Deal With Stress Hicks recommends the suggestions of Woolfork and Richardson in their book, Stress, Sanity and Survival (Sovereign Books, 1978). [Leam to Plan Disorganization breeds stress. Having too many projects going at the same time leads to confusion, forgetfulness, and a terrible sense of uncompleted tasks hanging over on’es head. Plan ahead Develop your own personal style of getting things done in a calm, orderly way. Whenever possible, take on projects one at a time and work on them until completed. mits Most of us set unreasonable and perfectionistic goals for ourselves. But we can never be perfect (or even come close), so we often have a sense of failure or inadequacy no matter how well we perform. Re-evaluate your goals with ruthless realism. Are they achievable? Or do they reflect an effortto reach perfection, certainty, or ultimate security in a very imperfect world? Is that what life is really about? [Leam to tolerate and forgive Intolerance and judging of others leads to frustration and anger. Try to really understand the other person's concems and fears. Try to see the pressures on them. This will make you feel more accepting of them even if you do not agree with their behavior or opinions, ‘Avoid criticizing others. Leam to praise the things you like in others. Focus on the ‘p00d qualities of those around you. Excessive criticism of others almost always reflects dissatisfaction with oneself. ‘Avoid unnecessary competition Many competitive situations cannot be avoided. But too much concern ‘with winning in too many areas of life creates tension and hostility. It is generally desirable to minimize ‘competitiveness and concem with winning. Focus on process, not outcomes, in living Find activities from which you get intrinsic satisfaction. ‘Stressful emotions can be reduced by focusing on the process or style of your activities, rather than on their results or outcomes. Do those things which enable you to focus on and enjoy the activity itself, rather than focus on how well you are performing or what the activity will bring you. Sometimes the ideal solution of "mid-life crisis" is to change careers-try something new. ise Check with your physician before beginning any exercise program. You will ‘be more likely to stay with the program if you choose one that you really enjoy rather than one that seems like drudgery. Itis difficult to overstate the importance of regular, vigorous exercise for physical and mental health, Leam a systematic, drug-free method of relaxing Meditation, yoga, autogenic training or progressive relaxation can be leamed from various accredited teachers and licensed psychotherapists, ‘Talk outyour troubles Find a friend, member of the clergy, counselor, or therapist you can be open with Expressing your "bottled up" tension and concems to an understanding and sympathetic ear can be incredibly helpful.RESULTS OF TOO MUCH STRESS Stress can cause many physical complications. It can affect one’s entire body, from head to toe. Stress can silently take its toll. Possible physical damage sites resulting from stress can include: ALLERGIES + Asthma + Hay fever CARDIOVASCULAR SYSTEM: ‘+ Arrhythmia and an increased possibility of stroke + Distress of coronary arteries ‘+ High blood pressure IMMUNE SYSTEM ‘+ Reduced number of white blood ‘cells which fight infection GASTROINTESTINAL SYSTEM, + Colitis + Diarthea + Nausea + Ubers GENITOURINARY SYSTEM. + Menstrual problems + Sexual dysfunction LOCOMOTOR SYSTEM’ + Rheumatoid arthritis MUSCULAR SYSTEM: + Backaches38 IDEAS FOR REVITALIZING AND ENERGIZING YOURSELF THINGS YOU CAN DO TO COPE MORE EFFECTIVELY What can you do about your stress? = What should you do about it? - What will you do about it? Here are some examples of creative changes that others have found ve-energizing for them, Some of these ideas you might find helpful to you in your search to relieve your distress--to turn the tables on stress and make it work for you rather than against you. Use these as stimulators. Dream up your own creative set of activities designed to get you the results you desire. You Can Develop Self-Understanding: ) Listen to the voice of your body. ) Make a list of your present goals. ) Write a diary or a journal. ) Analyze your successes. ) Get feedback from others on how they see you. ) Make use of the helping professions. ) Keep track of your "stress quotient ) Find out what is controllable in your life and what isn't. ) Be honest with yourself. wervareene You Can Improve Your Mini 10) Read about stress and human growth. 11) Learn about stress. 12) Be sensitive to all dimensions of life. 13) Take a course. 14) Go to the public library. 15) Think about great ideas. 16) Clear your mind. You Can Develop Healthy Attitudes: Develop the attitude of gratitude. Think positively. Learn to accept what you cannot change. Learn to love yourself. Don't be afraid of failure. Practice living in the present. Get friendly with leisure. Reward, yourself, SCNeSee5 weeD Toiinuat CF prime [PREE/UNSCHEDULE! fe FFORTS IN SCHOOL/WORK ACTIVITIES12. 13. 14, 15. 16. 7. 18. 19. 20. ai. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. COPING STRATEGIES Confront realities and take appropriate action Focus on solutions, or redefine a problem into solvable form Always consider alternatives Maintain open, mutual communication with significant others Seek and use constructive help, including competent medical care Accept support when offered; be assertive when necessary Keep up morale through self=reliance or resources that are available Self-concept is as important as symptom relief Seek information Confidence in and cooperation with medical staff Having and maintaining hope Setting goals Pride in appearance Outside hobbies or interests Humor Independence and aécept dependence when needed Rethink values Associate with positive people Recognize Iimitations Recognize the love people offer Share feelings Find ways to live within limitations Identify your resources Acknowledge anger Be Flexible Avold avoidance, do not deny Be rigid Unreasonable demands Be realistic Laugh {t off; make light of situation Try to forget: put it out of your mind Take firm action based on present understanding Accept, but find something favorable Submit to the inevitable; fatal {sm Do something, anything, however reckless or impractical Reduce tension with excessive drink, drug or danger Withdraw into isolation; get awayTHE BEST COPING STRATEGIES - (resourceful vs rigid) Avoid avotdance - do not deny, Confront realities and take appropriate actions. Focus on solutions, or redefine a problem into solvable form. Always consider alternatives. Maintain open, mutual communication with signtficant others. Seek and use constructive help, including competent medical care. Accept support when offered; be assertive when necessary. Keep up morale through self-rel{ance or resources that are available. Self-concept is as important as symptom relief. Hope is self-pride, not self-deception.uoissaidap saz! 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UEYA $$) om moyauuos sy 10) Buryse 492 196 om Suryifue iyi 10° sanjasino 10) Buiyydue 10) SP 0} Buosm S11 yeu opnunte BuReAJEp-1198 4) padojanap aney sn jo awog ‘woIssosd 9p pue juaunuioddesip 10} dn jiasunok Bunt 19S AUB Nok "suBIS 40 s\uIy anBEA ja1d,9}U1 10 pull AMOK peas OF S19410 40) WIEM NOK 4) i.NVM & NOA LVHM Hod YSV passaidap Sutwoseg wos siayio ewios daay uana Aew ue ~~~ 9j1) ul auyuoddesip ssa} aney jiIMm NOK “ssa4}o jo SuoNe|2adxa snok sonpas Ose eo nok 4 ‘puy ijlasinok wos, UoNDa}ad }oadxa 01 peau sa6u0j ou nok sueau si. ‘ROK 40) a|qeuosea! aie pue “UMO INOA aie Spuepuels oy 1ey) ains ayew 0} Auessazau LW 1Ng “2yI) UMO 3NOK ur spuepUEIS yoIy On ani6 0} A1essaaau jou S13} "Way jo aney ‘suayj0 Jeu) suonejoadxa aysyeaiun ay) A\sno 95 aye) osje Aew ajdoad asayy “A\snoLas. W aye pue Ayqisuodsas ydaode 0} ay) UL ‘Auva pausea| oym aidoad snonuatsuod ‘aige deo “eiqees au) sioaye Uayo Uolssasdag iLO34uadWI 38 O1 3uVG & L SNIAIT 3344-NOISS3ud3d YO4 SNOILSSDDNSCHECKLIST FOR HIDDEN ANGER 1. Procrastination in the completion of imposed tasks. 2 Perpetual or habitual lateness. 3. A liking for sarcastic or ironic humor, 4. Sarcasm, cynicism or flippancy in conversation. 5. Over-politeness, constant cheerfulness, attitude of “grin-and-bear- 6 Frequent sighing, 7. Smiling while hurting. 8. Over-contralled monotone speaking voice. Frequent disturbing or frightening dreams, 10 Difficulty getting to sleep or slecping through the night. : 1. Boredom, apathy, loss of interest in things you ae usually enthusiastic about. 12. Slowing down of movements. 13, ‘Getting tired more easily than usual. 14. Excessive irritability over trifles. 15. Getting drowsy at inappropriate times. 16. Sleeping more than usual — maybe 12 to 14 hours per day. 17. Clenched jaws ~ especially while sleeping. 18. Waking up tired, rather thai rested and refreshed, e 19. Facial tics, spasmodic foot movements, habitual fist clenching and similar repeated physical acts done unintentionally or unaware. 20. Grinding of the teeth — especially while sleeping. 21. Chronically stiff or sore neck. 22. Chronic depression ~ extonded periods of feeling down for no reason. 23. Stomach ulcers. Copy provided by ACA Mn Intergroup PO Raw 900 bine bin EREDo® Aggreuve —— Agonssed Anse @@ «5 Sy Sentions Cold Cencenfrating Canpident — Curevs Dement CRCICICICRCRS) Drtermoned —Disappanted Desarpronng . Disbalieving —Diagead Frightened we Hangover & b>) », © & Jealous ’ z ® Lonely Lovestrosk Meditative Mischievous liserabla §——plegalive oo ~~ Obstinate. Optimistia. Pained Gs) Prodish Purrled Ragreteul Relieved Satisfied Shocked Svs @& & eSaccepted affectionate afraid med, angry anxious appreciated attractive awkward beaten beautiful bewildered brave calm cheated closed comfortable committed compassionate competent concerned confident confused contented cowardly creative cruel curious defeated dejected dependent depressed deprived * dese desp disappointed dominated domineering eager easy going ‘embarrassed envious ae LIST OF FEELINGS evasive excited exhilarsted fatalistic fearful feminine flirtatious friendiess friendly frigid frustrated generous genuine giddy grateful gratified guilty gutless happy hateful hopeful hopeless hostile humorous hurt hyperactive hypocritical ignored immobilized impatient inadequate incompetent Inconsistent in control eet Independent inferior inhibited insecure insincere involved 86. 87, 88. 89, 90. 91. 92. 93. 94, 9s. 96. 97. 98, 99. 100, 101, 102. 103, 104, 108, 106, 107. 108, 109, 110, 11, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 17. 118. 119. 120. 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126. 127, 128, judgmental lonely lovable loving loyal manipulated masculine melancholy misunderstood needy — old optimistic overcontrolled overlooked paranoid passionate peaceful persecuted pessimistic phoney playful pleased possessive preoccupied prejudiced pressured protective proud quiet rejected religious remorseful repelled repulsive sad sadistic secure seductive Hiant sexy shallow 129. 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 136, 136, 137, 138. 139. 140. 141, 142, 143, 144, 148, 146. 147, 148, 149, 150. 181, 152, 163, 184, 185, 166. 187, 188, 169, 160, 161, 162. 163, 164, 165, 166. 167. shy silly sincere sinful sluggish soft sorry stubborn stupid suicidal sunshiny superior supported supportive suspicious sympathetic. tender terrified touchy two-faced uncertain understanding unresponsive up-tight used useless victimized vindictive violent weary weepy wishy-washy youthfulPhobia Center Of Dallas/Ft. Worth Specialists In The Treatment of Antiery Coping With Panic by R. Clark Vinson. CSW-ACP 1 stow pownt First and foremost, SLOW DOWN. You will not “Yeef" ike slowing down. You will feel like escaping or running as fast as possible. Dont give in to those feelings. Force yourself to move as if you are in a siow-motion movie. Going faster will increase the feelings of panic. Slowing down will help you think rationally and cope. 2. BREATHE SLOWLY, WITH THE DIAPHRAGM. Breathe slowly through your nose. You may have to force yourself to do this since itis more difficult to breathe slowly when you are panicky. Use your diaphragm to breathe. Hold your hand on your stomach below your bettline. This part of your ody should contol your breathing. Your shoulders should be stationary. 3. FEELINGS ARE NOT FACTS - PANIC IS HARMLESS. Remember, the feelings your are experiencing are normal, crazy, lose control, faint, fall of You will “eel” ike you might do some of tho: Nothing harmful will happen. The fact is, you will not die, go things, but feelings are not facts. 4 You Do NOT HAVE TO BE CALM TO FUNCTION. ‘You can do anything while anxious you can do while calm, you just will not be as comfortable, 5 po Not sTarE. Keep your eyes moving around slowly, talking to yourself about what you see. 6 DISTRACT YOUR THINKING. Itis focusing on the "what ifs” that causes panic (‘What if| lose control? What if | look foolish"). Count backwards from 100 by 3's or 7's - ty to remember the words to a song or poem, of the ingredients to a recipe. . 7 YOU ALREADY HAVE HAD THE WORST - AND SURVIVED! Remember, you already have experienced the worst. Feelings may get more intense or seemingly last longer, but you will experience nothing worse than what you have already experienced, namely, discomfort. You always have survived that 8 LET TIME PASS - YOU ALWAYS WILL CALM DOWN. Panic is not an indication you are going crazy or are about to experience a mental collapse or “nervous breakdown.” No matter how afraid you become, is an oper limit. Fear will not keep rising untl you “break” or “explode.” No matter what, you eventually will calm down, 4025 Woodland Park Boulevard, Suite 170 Arlington, Texas 76013 - (817) 795-2585 6750 Hillcrest Plaza Drive, Suite 221 in Dallas (214) 522-6181 A anion of Atarnatves for Beneworal Change, nc. 7SWIL SHL LY ONINNIHL SYM I LVHM (ae TXyayxue are darud NI NOILVYALTS -319s ‘Butumop-ztas 1*5*3) ‘ ‘ Waa I (S)NOTLONA ZATLYOGN ee a (*Addey 3,usy 303e3 37 poob ou w, I {Guyumop-stas f1043e3 Worx TTeD auoYd ‘aA ‘pam 1Xz3Ua aTdues) *BuyBUeyD PUE BuybusTTeys Uo ATOA 07 FUA TTTA NOx 7eyR pue ‘ATI00d nok aazas 3eUA BUTHUTIA JO suze33ed aas TTTA Nox uoos *yaaK ayz Buyinp yosdn azynb Taez NOX ouyz yova HoT styz uy Aqua ue oxen SUHONOHL ONTGYNLSTA JO 9OT ATHTIMWrite It Out Some research supports the belief that writing about problems or. worries can’ be helpful. Other research has shown that holding back feelings about upsetting events can be psychologically harmful; and perhaps physically damaging as well. For people who have’ suffered experiences they are, reluctant to discuss, or have no ready’ listener, a session with pen.and paper may serve as a comforting and useful substitute for talking. : AS