IleanaMalancioiu, Sora Mea de Dincolo PDF

Sora mea de dincolo / My Sister Beyond Trans from Romanian by Doru Radu and JoAnne Growney (Paralela 45,
2003).
Ileana Mlncioiu
Ileana Mlncioiu
Sora mea de dincolo
My Sister Beyond
Traducere n englez de
Radu Doru Cosmin i JoAnne Growney
Translated into English by

Radu Doru Cosmin and JoAnne Growney
Sora mea de dincolo / My Sister Beyond Trans from Romanian by Doru Radu and JoAnne Growney (Paralela 45, 2003).
Despre autoare
About the poet
Ileana Mlncioiu s-a nscut la 23 ianuarie 1940, n

comuna Godeni, judeul Arge, Romnia. A urmat
cursurile Facultii de Filozofie a Universitii din
Bucureti. i-a luat doctoratul n filozofie cu lucrarea
Vina
tragic
(tragicii
greci,
Shakespeare,
Dostoievski, Kafka). Definete poezia ca expresie a
unui mod de via. S-a spus adesea c ar fi poeta care
a vorbit cel mai mult despre suflet i despre moarte i
c poezia semnat Ileana Mlncioiu i poate da
sentimentul c autoarea a strbtut infernul. Crede
ns c viaa este valoarea suprem, iar lipsa de sens a
vieii i moartea reprezint rul suprem. Poetul ei de
suflet este George Bacovia. Sora mea de dincolo a
aprut la editura Cartea Romnesc n 1980. Despre
acest volum autoarea spune: "Cnd am scris Sora mea
de dincolo nu m-am gndit la succes. Nu m-a interesat
nici mcar dac ce scriam n etapa aceea era sau nu
era literatur. O vegheasem trei luni pe sora mea cea
mai mic, eram bolnav sufletete i ceea ce fceam
era un fel de exerciiu de vindecare. Dac a fi putut
s-o aduc mcar pentru o clip napoi pe sora mea, a fi
renunat, fr nici o ezitare, la poemele scrise pentru
ea".
Ileana Mlncioiu was born on January 23rd, 1940 in the village

of Godeni, county of Arge, Romania. She graduated from the
University of Bucharest, Faculty of Philosophy. Her Ph.D.
thesis is entitled Tragic Quilt (The Greek Tragedians,
Shakespeare, Dostoyevsky, Kafka).
Mlncioiu considers
poetry to be a natural expression of living. Reviewers have said
she is unique in writing almost exclusively about the soul and
about death themes in her poems; moreover, readers of her and
her poems make readers feel that the poet knows what hell
means. She are convinced that she understands the meaning of
hell or eternal punishment; she believes that life is the highest
value, and death together with living without purpose are the
greatest transgressions a person can make. Mlncioiu cites
George Bacovia as her favorite poet and her work echoes his
themes.. This current bilingual volume , My Sister Beyond, was
first published by Cartea Romneasc in 1980. About this
collection of poems the author says: "I did not think of being a
successful poet when I wrote the poems from My Sister Beyond.
I did not care whether these poems were good poetry or
literature. I had watched my little sister for three months; so
often I was completely devastated. My writing was a kind of
exercise for healing myself. If I had been able to bring my sister
back, even for a moment, I would have given those poems up,
those poems written for her, without hesitation."
Despre traductori
About the translators
Radu Doru Cosmin este profesor de limba englez. Locuiete

n Deva, Romnia. Este absolventul unei faculti de
management i al unui colegiu de limbi strine. Prima oar
i-a publicat traducerile n Caiete Internaionale de Poezie. A
tradus n limba romn poemul Howl de Allan Ginsberg. Este
autorul unui curs de limba englez Choose English! publicat
n 2003 de editura Corvin din Deva.
(2003) Radu Doru Cosmin is an English teacher from Deva,

Romania. He holds a degree in Foreign Languages and a
degree in Management. His translations of Romanian poetry
into English were first published in the International
Notebooks of Poetry. Additionally, he has translated Allen
Ginsburgs epic poem Howl into Romanian. His textbook,
Choose English!, was published by Corvin Publishing in
2003.
JoAnne Growney e poet. Locuiete n Bloomsburg,

Pennsylvania, SUA. Are o diplom n arte frumoase. A lucrat
ca profesor universitar de matematic i a publicat trei cri
de poezie. A vizitat Romnia de cteva ori.
(2003) JoAnne Growney is a poet from Bloomsburg,

Pennsylvania, USA. She holds the MFA degree in Creative
Writing from Hunter College. Her poems have been
published in two chapbooks and in numerous literary
magazines. She has traveled several times to Romania and
has taught English and poetry to students in Deva.
Radu i Growney au tradus mpreun poezii de George

Bacovia i Mircea Goga iar traducerile lor au fost publicate
n anul 2002 de editura Criterion Publishing din SUA sub
titlul Plumb de Iarn Colecie bilingv de poezii selectate
din creaia poetului romn George Bacovia i Concert pentru
vioar i singurtate Colecie bilingv de poezii de Mircea
Goga.
Radu and Growney have also translated together work by

Romanian poets George Bacovia and Mircea Goga. In 2002
Lead of Winter - Bilingual Collection of Selected Works by
Romanian Poet George Bacovia and Concert for Violin and
Loneliness Bilingual Collection of Poems by Mircea Goga.
both were issued by Criterion Publishing.
2012 update:
Doru Radu now lives and writes in Gdynia, Poland and
JoAnne Growney in Silver Spring, MD (near Washington, DC)
Atroce
19
Vicious
19
Cuprins / Contents
Muntele
The Mountain
6
6
M-ateptasem s fii numai tu

I Expected to See Only You
20
20
Inocena
Innocence
7
7
Ca nite simple bijuterii

Like Simple Jewels
21
21
nti n-am putut s cred

At First I Could Not Believe It
8
8
Rug
Prayer
22
22
Ce vesele cntece
Happy Songs
9
9
Atunci am neles
At That Moment I Understood
23
23
n netire
Unconsciously
10
10
Erau lunatice
They Looked Alike
24
24
Sora mea, mprteasa

My Sister, the Empress
11
11
Mama ngenuncheat
Kneeling Mother
25
25
Nu te-ai dus de tot

You Havent Left Us For Good
12
12
Aici
Here
26
26
M-ai privit ndelung

You Fixed Your Eyes Upon Me
13
13
Cntai fals
You Sang Out of Tune
27
27
Ultima tain
The Last Confession
14
14
Stteau chiar la masa aceea

They Sat At Your Table
28
28
Cel ce sttea de gard

15
The One From the Emergency Room 15
De zeci de ori
Ten Times
29
29
Ceasul
The Clock
16
16
Deschide-te
Open Up!
30
30
Mi-a fost fric

I Was Afraid
17
17
n cele patruzeci de zile

Forty Days
31
31
Pianjenul
The Spider
32
32
Sora mea dus de ape

18
My Sisters Gone With the Water 18
4
Din brumele reci
33
From Frost
33
Erai robul umil
48
You Were the Meek Slave
48
Ateptare
34
Waiting
34
Ajunsesem la ea
49
I Reached Her
49
mi amintesc adeseori
35
Often I Remember
35
Aezat alturi de tine
50
Lying Next to You
50
Sora mea de dincolo
36
My Sister Beyond
36
Dar dac totui
51
Suppose
51
Lumin
38
Light
38
n dreptul sfntului
52
Opposite a Saint
52
Acum cnd
39
Now Whenever
39
Nu te mai pot vedea
53
I Cant See You Anymore
53
Rochia ta roz
40
Your Pink Dress
40
Un oarece de cmp
54
A Field Mouse
54
Privesc cum plou
41
I Watch It Rain
41
Din nou celul alb
55
Again the White Dog
55
Lsai iarba s creasc pe ea
42
Let the Grass Cover Her
42
Gura ca un pianjen
56
A Mouth Like a Spider
56
Din nou acea zi
43
That Day Again
43
Aa m gndeam
57
I Thought This Way
57
i crescuse prul
44
Your Hair Grew
44
N-am mai ajuns la tine
58
I Couldnt Reach You
58
Te-ai trezit peste noapte
45
You Woke That Night
45
Va veni o vreme
59
A Time Will Come
59
Ceremonie
46
Funeral Service
46
Vis i realitate
60
Dream and Reality
60
Cel nscut din mori
47
The Life Born From Death
47
5
Muntele
The Mountain
Muntele nu mai era acelai munte

parc nu mai era s fie urcat
brbatul care-l strbtea plngnd
parc nu mai era acelai brbat
It's not the same mountain

that seemed useless to climb,
the man who crossed it complaining
is not the same man
cruia i spuneam tat

i i urmam paii pe rnd
totul era de nerecunoscut
cci tata urca muntele plngnd.
we called father
following his steps
always dissatisfied
with his complaining climb.
naintea lui mergea sora noastr

curata i nevinovata
i-mi prea ru c sta cu zmbetul pe buze
cnd plnge tata.
Our sister walked before him

fresh and innocent
her smile while father cried
made me sad.
Smerit m-am rugat s fie iertat

i am urcat ncet ngnnd
n numele tatlui nostru din cer
i al celui de pe pmnt.
Meekly I begged her forgiveness

climbing slowly murmuring
in the name of our heavenly father
and our earthly one.
Inocena
Innocence
Sora mea a strivit capul arpelui

i arpele i-a zdrobit piciorul stng
se poate vedea semnul n talpa ei mai mare
dect a celuilalt picior
i trupul arpelui se poate gsi pe crare.
My sister crushed the snake's head

and the snake maimed her left foot
its mark lies on her larger sole
larger than the sole of her other foot
and the snake's body lies on the path.
St pe iarb de parc nu ar mai ti

s-i pun oule s le cloceasc
la soarele fierbinte i s fug
parc ateapt s nasc pui vii
i s le dea s sug.
It lies in the grass as if it doesn't know

how to lay eggs how to hatch them
in hot sun and then how to run
it's as if it waits to give birth
to live ones and to feed them.
Cineva o strig pe sora mea

care tia s pun genunchiul
pe arpele din coul cu pete
i s sperie rsul rznd
dar sora mea acum se odihnete.
Somebody shouts at my sister

who knows how to crush her knee
onto the snake from the fish basket
and to scare the laugh from laughing
but my sister is resting.
n somnul dulce-al sufletului ei

un trector a dat de arpele ncolcit
i ea alearg s mntuie trectorul
ea nu tie c a i strivit capul arpelui
i c arpele i-a zdrobit piciorul.
In her soul's sweet sleep

a bystander finds the coiled snake
and she runs to rescue the other not knowing
she already crushed the snake's head
and the snake has maimed her foot.
nti n-am putut s cred
At First I Could Not Believe It
nti n-am putut s cred c erai acolo

pe urm n-am vrut s cred c numele bolii
era cel bnuit
pe urm m-am mulumit s sper c abia ncepuse
pe urm am sperat c vei fi totui un caz fericit.
I couldn't believe at first you were there then

I didn't want to believe the name of the illness
was the suspected one
then I was content to hope it had just started
then I hoped you would be lucky.
n cele din urm a trebuit s accept

ceea ce nu credeam c-am s pot accepta
numai timpul care aproape c se oprise
nu-l mai puteam ndura.
Finally I had to accept

what I thought I could never
though I can bear anything
I can't bear this any longer.
Ca s l fac s treac ntr-un fel

i luam piciorul n brae ct puteam mai uor
i i-l nfuram n miez de cartof i n foi de varz
i n tot ce mai puteam s i-l nfor.
I wanted to make time fly

and slowly I took your leg in my arms
and dressed it with potato mash and cabbage leaves
and anything else I could use to wrap it.
Apoi i-l desfceam tot la fel de ncet

ca pe arcul ncremenit al acelui ceasornic universal
care btea imperceptibil n zidul
mucegit al vechiului spital.
Then slowly I undid it

moving like the unwinding arc
traced by the tiny ticks of the universal clock
on the musty wall of that old hospital.
i-abia trziu, cnd nu mai puteam atepta

nimic din ce avea s mai vin
ncremenit n ntuneric, te-am auzit strignd:
s se fac lumin!
Only later, when I could wait no more

for what would come
I stood stock-still in darkness
and heard you shout: I want to see light!
Nu m-am nspimntat, n-am plns

am ascultat resemnat cuvntul
spus rspicat prin ochii larg deschii
ca s se vad cerul i pmntul.
I wasn't frightened, I didn't cry

without resistance I heard your words
said plainly through wide open eyes
showing sky and earth.
Ce vesele cntece
Happy Songs
Ce vesele cntece cntau

cele zece femei din spital
n acea duminic de lsata secului
ce carnaval
Such happy songs

those ten hospital women sang
on that Shrove Sunday
what a carnival!
cu mtile lipite de obrajii supi

i tu ce voce aveai cnd mi-ai spus:
uite, m in de cuvnt, nu mai plng
uite, tristeea s-a dus.
Masks clung to hollow cheeks

and you what a voice you used to tell me:
Look! I keep my word, I cry no more.
Look! Sadness is gone.
Cci pn i tristeea se dusese

cnd moartea ncepuse s secere
n fiecare zi pe cineva
i voi cntai cntece de petrecere
Sadness disappeared
when death began to cut away
one more each day
while you sang party songs
ntr-un mod ngrozitor de firesc

i toat lumea se cutremura de veselia
din acel salon strmt i ntunecos
de la spitalul Filantropia.
in a shocking way it was natural

to shudder at the gaiety
in that dark and narrow room
of the Philanthropy Hospital.
n netire
Unconsciously
Dac n-a putut s ia capul tu

s-a mulumit cu un picior
piciorul stng, aa a spus
i fiindc tu rdeai ca-ntotdeauna
a pus s i-l ia ceva mai de sus.
If He couldn't have your head

He made himself satisfied with your foot
your left foot is what He said
because you laughed as always
He ordered amputation from above.
O, cum sperai c vei merge iari

cnd nu mai fceai nici un pas
i cum am aflat c nu se putea
salva partea bun a trupului tu
reteznd pe cea rea.
You hoped to walk again

when you could take no steps
it was impossible I found
to save the good part of your body
cutting away the sick part.
Dac nu i-ai putut lsa corpul

mulumesc pentru suflet, Doamne
am nceput s strig n netire
tocmai cnd ochii ti s-au deschis ctre el
fr spaim i fr mpotrivire.
Even if You couldn't leave her body

I thank You, God, for her soul
I began to shout senselessly
when your eyes turned toward Him
fearlessly with no resistance.
10
Sora mea, mprteasa
My Sister, the Empress
Sora mea, mprteasa

s-a suprat pe noi
i-a luat coroanele i-a plecat
dar mama i tata cred
c va veni napoi.
My sister, the empress

got angry with us
took her crowns and left
but my mother and father think
she'll come back.
O s vin sigur, zice tata

cum s te duci
dintr-o mprie n alta
nclat-n papuci.
Certainly she'll come, says Father,

how can she go
from one kingdom to another
wearing her slippers?
Dar mama e suflet de femeie

ea simte c fata ei nu poate veni
cu coroana pe cap i-n papuci
n plin zi.
But Mother's female intuition

understands her daughter can't return
with a crown on her head and slippers
in the middle of day.
Va veni la noapte, zice mama

va veni mine, zice tata
numai eu tiu c sora mea s-a dus
i gata.
She'll come at night, says Mother

she'll come tomorrow, says Father
only I know my sister's gone
for good.
Eu am vzut locul pe unde-a trecut

acoperit cu cele apte coroane
astfel nct prinii s nu-l mai tie
i-am dat de urma papucilor ei
n cealalt mprie.
I saw the place she passed

hidden beneath those seven crowns
so my parents wouldn't know her
and I found the print of her slippers
in the other kingdom.
11
Nu te-ai dus de tot
You Haven't Left Us For Good
Nu te-ai dus de tot, nu te-ai dus de tot

creierul meu nfierbntat te ine
n cea mai ascuns celul a lui
n care te-ai fcut bine.
You haven't left us for good you have

not left us for good my overheated brain
still holds you in its deepest cells
in which you are well.
Tu tii unde te afli dei te prefaci

c nu mai tii nimic i eti stul
de tot ce-a fost, tot timpul te gndeti
cum s faci s iei din aceast celul.
You know exactly where you are

though you pretend you know nothing
and are tired of everything you keep
thinking how to escape this cell.
Minile tale ireal de fine

sap n tain grote cenuii
toi paznicii lumii te pzesc s nu evadezi
dar cine te mai poate opri?
Shadows of your fine hands

secretly dig dark tunnels
all the world's sentries watch to prevent
your escape but who can stop you?
Azi-noapte ai reuit s fugi pentru cteva clipe

te-am vzut bine cum iei din foc
i cum calci uor pe tmpla mea stng
i intri de bunvoie la loc.
Last night you contrived a free moment

of running about I saw you clearly leaving the fire
you stepped slowly on my left temple
and then went deep inside the cells.
12
M-ai privit ndelung
You Fixed Your Eyes Upon Me
M-ai privit ndelung, bnuitoare:

de ce nu i-ai fcut ochii azi, mi-ai spus
o dat i a doua oar
i cea de lng patul tu a zis:
f-i ochii, domnioar.
You fixed suspicious eyes on me

and said, Why no eye make-up
today? once and a second time
and the one near your bed said:
Make your eyes up, miss.
i m-am dus tremurnd la oglinda

n care patul tu se vedea
uor nclinat
i parc te duceai cu el cu tot n jos
i m-am apucat
Trembling I went to the mirror

that held your bed inside
a bit inclined
it looked as if you were going down
with your bed and I started
s-mi fac ochii ncet, ncet

aa cum a numra
ca s nu urlu de durere
i tu linitit mi-ai spus:
i st mult mai bine aa.
making my eyes up slowly, slowly

as if this would count
as relief from pain
and calmly you told me:
You look much better.
13
Ultima tain
The Last Confession
Ce cruci mari i dezndjduite fceai:

tiu eu, preai s spui,
c mama n-a venit ntmpltor
fie, dac aa ai vrut voi
ce cruci mari fceai n mijlocul tuturor
Desperately you crossed yourself

seemed to say: I know, Mother
didn't come by chance
fine, if this is what you want
what giant crosses you made among
acelor femei adunate n preajma ta

care nu tiau nici ele prea bine
ct de grav era starea lor
i se mineau c primesc taina numai aa
ca s i fie ie mai uor.
those women gathered

who didn't know very well
their critical condition
deceiving themselves they took
last confession to help you feel better.
tii, printe, am spus, e foarte obosit

i i-am fost recunosctoare c m-a-neles
i m-am uitat la tine cum mai poi
s stai i s atepi aproape linitit.
ndeplinisei tot ce au vrut toi.
I said, Father, you know she's very tired

grateful he understood
gazing at you I wondered
how you could be calm and wait
and carry out the wishes of others.
Mai trebuia doar s ai grij de mine

dar asta nu era deloc uor
pe mine nu m mai puteai mini
i trebuia s rmnem mpreun pn la capt
i n-ai fi vrut s tiu c tii.
You had only me to care for

but it was not so easy
you couldn't lie to me anymore
we were stuck together to the end
you didn't want me to know you knew.
14
Cel ce sttea de gard
The One From the Emergency Room
Du-te repede, mi-a spus, mi-e fric

vezi c este de gard doctorul X
el trebuie s tie s-mi dea ceva s mai pot respira
el a spus c n garda lui nu moare nimeni.
Go quickly, she told me, I'm afraid

Doctor X is on guard
he must know how to help me breathe
he said no one has died on his watch.
ntr-adevr doctorul acela foarte tnr

fr atta glorie ct suflet avea
la miezul nopii a venit i-a fcut-o
s mai respire pn a doua zi.
That very young doctor

with no reputation but a good heart
came at midnight and made her
breathe until the next day.
Pe urm ea nsi a neles

c garda lui a trecut i c noi am intrat
n ziua aceea ngrozitoare de care
apucase s spun c nu va mai trece.
Then even she understood

his watch had ended and we began
to live that day of dread
we thought would never end.
Cel ce sttea de gard se uita

la noi de sus fr s intervin:
Eu n-am spus c n garda mea nu moare nimeni,
Eu nu am nici o vin.
The one from the emergency room

looked in but didn't interfere:
I didn't say no one's died on my watch,
I'm not to blame.
15
Ceasul
The Clock
Nu mai trece ziua de azi, mi spunea

uitndu-se la ceas din ce n ce mai des
Doamne, nu mai trece ziua de azi
i fr ndoial ea nu greea
ziua aceea lung de treisprezece aprilie
de care se temuse cu mult nainte
ntr-adevr nu mai trecea.
La ora ase dup amiaz ceasul prea oprit
i toi ne-am uitat la limbile lui ngrozii
numai ea s-a fcut roz-alb i luminoas
i l-a ntors ncet ncet pn la limit
i l-a fcut deodat s mearg din nou
nti n sens invers cu disperare
pe urm fr nici un sens.
This day does not end, she told me

watching the clock more and more
God, that day did not end
she was right
that long thirteenth of April
dreaded long in advance
lasting forever.
The clock seemed to stop
at six in the evening
all of us frightened watched its hands
she only glowed pink and bright
and suddenly time moved again
at first counterclockwise in despair
then randomly.
16
Mi-a fost fric
I Was Afraid
Mi-a fost fric i s vd i s plec

m-ai strigat tot timpul ct ai mai putut
apoi mi-ai desprit numele n silabe
aa cum mi-ai desface trupul
n prile din care a fost fcut.
I was afraid to see or to leave.

You called to me continually
as long as you were able then you
syllabized my name as if
to separate parts of my body.
Nu tiu ce ai fi vrut s in minte

mi-artai ceva la gt i la tmple
i mi-adunam cu greu trupul fcut buci
s pot nelege ce vrei s-mi spui
i ce urmeaz s se ntmple.
You wanted me to rememberI don't know what

you showed me marks on your neck your temples
I could scarcely gather the parts of my body back
so I could understand what you were saying
and what was to come.
Nu mai puteam nici s vd nici s plec

cnd fr s-mi dau seama nu s-au mai auzit
nici bucile sngernde ale numelui meu
nici micrile dureroase ale aerului
pe care-l respirai din ce n ce mai greu.
I couldn't watch I couldn't leave

when besides the rest I realized I couldn't hear
the parts of my body bleeding anymore
nor even the wistful currents of the air
you barely breathe.
Deodat nu te-a mai durut nimic

i te-ai uitat pierdut spre nu tiu ce lumin.
De peste fruntea ta vedeam cum se ridic
o veche apsare. Fr s tiu trecuse
lucrul acela groaznic de care mi-a fost fric.
Suddenly you had no pain

and began to gaze at a light I didn't see
I saw the pressure from your forehead
lifted. Without warning
the dreadful end I feared.
17
Sora mea dus de ape
My Sister's Gone With the Water
Sora mea dus de ape

nu tia c vine apa
s-a trezit ca-n vis c-o poart
cineva pe marea moart.
My sister's gone with the water

she didn't know the water came
then suddenly noticed someone
carried her on the Dead Sea.
Ochii ei deschii s-o scape

luminau n seara cald
vslele proptite-n valul
zmbetului care scald
blnd ntunecata cas
cnd durerile te las.
Her open eyes gave light

to the warm evening her oars
rested on her smile's wave
that softly splashed
the dark house peaceful
when pain disappeared.
M-am lsat n voia apei

i m-am dus n jos o vreme
unde nimeni nu mai plnge
unde nimeni nu mai geme.
I let myself flow with the water

drifted down for a while
where no one wept
no one moaned.
Nu era nici noaptea aceea

dar nici soare i nici nor
doar tcerea se lsase
peste plnsul tuturor.
There was no night

or sun or cloud
only silence
weeping over everybody's cry.
Ne-am privit n ochi tcute

cum privim spre marea moart
nclzit de curentul
apelor care ne poart
fr tirea noastr-n voia
valurilor prea nalte
cnd corabia strin
ncepuse s ne salte
mult mai sus dect se poate
ndura pe cnd eti viu.
In silence we met each other's eyes

joined our gaze toward the Dead Sea
warmed by the current
that swept us
the ignorant
through waves too high
until a strange ship
lifted us higher
than the living can bear.
I cried for help.
It came. Too late.
Am strigat dup-ajutor.
A venit. Era trziu.
18
Atroce
Vicious
Mi-a fi dat viaa

pentru tine
dar nu se putea,
repeta ca un papagal
dei nu fcea
impresia dorit
n spital
unde nu fusese vzut
pn atunci
cnd ntrebase cine-o s-o scalde
i i scosese cerceii
din urechile calde.
Mi-a fi dat viaa
pentru tine,
repeta pe trei voci
i a fi vrut
s pot s te chem
s spui att:
se poate, Doamn
acum s te vedem!
I would trade my life

for yours
(a gift impossible)
like a parrot she repeated
but failed to make
the selfless impression
she desired in the hospital
where we never saw her
until the moment she asked
who will wash this body?
and took off earrings
from your warm ears.
I would give my life
for yours,
she repeated three times
and I wanted you
to revive and say:
Lady, it's possible!
Do it now!
19
I Expected to See Only You

erau cte trei mori ntr-o firid
prin umezeala rece moartea se tra
ca o strlucitoare omid.
I expected to see only you

but there were three bodies
like a lustrous caterpillar
death crept through cold damp.
Alturi plngea un tnr brbat

cu mult mai abitir
dect putea el s plng
i te sruta n delir.
Beside you a young man

wept harder
than ever before
and kissed you frantically.
Cu greu te lsai plns i srutat

i ne-a cuprins o mare ntristare
preai acolo de totdeauna
iar noi pream venii din ntmplare.
Reluctantly you endured the tears and kisses

a giant sadness swallowed us
you seemed permanent
and we there by chance.
Nici nu tiam ce-ar trebui s facem

noroc c tu tiai s te pori
tu stteai zmbitoare i calm
n mijlocul celorlali mori.
We were at a loss for what to do

fortunately you knew how to behave
staying calm and smiling
among the other dead.
20
Ca nite simple bijuterii
Like Simple Jewels
Viermii i fcuser datoria lor

oasele care s-au mai gsit erau curate
li se putea vedea forma desvrit
i puteau s fie chiar srutate.
The worms did their duty

we found clean bones
saw their perfect form
kissable.
Nimeni nu le-a mai plns n ziua aceea

nimeni nu s-a gndit s le mai srute
au fost splate i aezate n cutii
ca nite simple bijuterii.
No one mourned that day

no one thought of kissing bones
but washed and sorted them in a box
like simple jewels.
i cnd te gndeti
c nu erau doar oase de btrni
c erau acolo i doi copii
care n-au trit mai mult de cteva sptmni.
Now when you stop to think

these weren't only old folks' bones
also two babies
who lived just two weeks.
Att am mai fcut: le-am splat i le-am aezat

i-am pus peste ele dou capace;
viermii i fcuser datoria lor
i noi nu ne-o mai puteam face ?period here?
Our only tasks: to wash and sort

and cover with lids;
the worms did their duty
what we weren't able to do.
noi eram obosii, noi lucram pentru ei

noi oasele curate le-am strns
s punem n locul lor un alt trup lng care
am stat i am plns.
Tired from our work

we gathered the clean bones
put in their place another body
stayed next to it and cried.
21
Rug
Prayer
Piciorul tu pus pe-o tipsie de aur

patru roabe l duceau mprtesei
i ea ncerca s vad dac nu-i merge
vestitul pantof al Cenuresei.
Your foot on a golden tray

carried to the empress by four slaves.
The empress inquired whether
the celebrated shoe of Cinderella fit.
Nu i-o luai n nume de ru, m rugam,

asta este, nu-i mai merge nici mcar un papuc
ea nsi n-ar fi vrut s fie descul
tocmai acum cnd roabele o aduc
Don't take it wrong, I prayed,

it's true no shoe fits her
and she wouldn't want bare feet
now when slaves bring her
n faa domniei voastre, dar ce s facem

nimic nu i se mai potrivete
aa m rugam cnd deodat am vzut
cum piciorul tu stng descrete
in front of you, what shall we do

nothing fits her any more
I prayed this way when suddenly I saw
your left foot grow short
pn cnd intr n pantoful acela de aur

puin tocit n bot
pn cnd intr n luciul tipsiei mprteti
cu pantoful de aur cu tot.
until it fit that golden shoe

(a bit worn at the toe)
until with its golden shoe
it matched the luster of the royal tray.
22
Atunci am neles
At That Moment I Understood
Atunci am neles, tu erai singur

n cenuiul mat al humii
eu nsmi stam la capul tu
ca la cellalt capt al lumii.
At that moment I realized you were alone

in the clay's dull gray
I stood at your head as if I could
remain at the other end of the world.
Preotul cnta slujba obinuit

dasclii ngnau partea lor
m uitam cum cad bulgrii peste tine
i m miram cum nu mor.
The priest sang the usual service

the teachers murmured their part
I watched clods fall on you
and wondered how I stayed alive.
Tata plngea, dar tria mai departe

lacrimile mamei erau secate
copiii ti nu tiau nc s plng
vntul nu tia peste ce bate.
Father cried, but kept living

mother's tears dried
your children didn't know yet how to cry
the wind didn't know where it blew.
Legna crucea de lemn pe care scria

c te-ai dus la treizeci i trei de ani nemplinii
cu linitea cu care legna
crngul de pomi nflorii.
It swayed the wood cross where they wrote

you died in your thirties
the same way that it swayed
the grove of trees in bloom.
mi amintesc bine, tu erai singur

n cenuiul mat al humii
eu nsmi stam la capul tu
ca la cellalt capt al lumii.
I remember you alone

in the clay's dull gray
I stood at your head as if I could
remain at the other end of the world.
23
Erau lunatice
They Looked Alike
Erau lunatice, a spus cineva

uitndu-se la fiica ta care semna cu tine
ca dou picturi de rou
luai repede o creang de mr cu doi lstari
i despicai-o n dou.
They looked alike, someone said

watching your daughter who looked like you
matched dew drops
quick take a green apple branch
and split it in two
Noroc c era un cimitir stesc

cu mormintele umbrite de pruni i de meri
i creanga cu doi lstari a putut fi despicat
astfel nct jumtile ei s fie aruncate la vreme
peste golul n care erai lsat.
It was a village cemetery so we were lucky

graves shadowed by plum trees apple trees
the apple shoot could be split
those two pieces thrown down in time
over the hole where they let you down.
Numai c lstarii de mr desfcui unul de lng cellalt

i aruncai de-o mn care tremura
au flfit n vzduh ca o flamur
i s-au unit la loc peste trupul tu
ntr-o singur ramur.
The split apple branches next to each other

thrown by a trembling hand.
waved like a flag
and rejoined over your body
into a single branch.
A fi cobort n adnc s scot un lstar

pe malul cellalt dar era prea trziu
fusese trezit din nou cumplita soart
care se lsa provocat cu bun-tiin
chiar i atunci cnd tu erai moart.
I wanted to go down and split them

but it was too late
the terrible destiny reawakened
stubbornly provoked
even with you dead.
24
Mama ngenunchiat
Kneeling Mother
Mama ngenunchiat n faa ta

dedesubt cele trei schelete
cnd te-au lsat peste ele uitase
c mai are trei fete.
A mother worshipped you

buried with three other skeletons
when you were put down above them
she forgot she had three more girls.
Noi nine licream ncet

i nentrerupt
asemeni celor trei schelete
de dedesubt.
Our eyes slowly took on

a permanent glow
like those skeletal bones
under the ground.
Tu te-ai uitat nmrmurit

cum totul se pierduse
sub privirea ei adncit
n pmntul care se desfcuse.
Astonished you watched

as everything above the ground
was wasted
before your mother's eyes.
Pe urm ne-ai mpins uor n faa

acelei imagini ntunecoase
i te-ai sprijinit linitit
pe cele trei rnduri de oase.
At length you slowly pushed us

in front of that dark image
and propped yourself up
on those three rows of bones.
25
Aici
Here
Aici mcar e biserica aproape

i-i poi vedea de cte ori vin
chiar dac nu-i mai poi mica piciorul
chiar dac nu este senin
Now the church is near

you can see them coming
even though you can't move your leg
even though the sky isn't clear
i nu te mai scoate nimeni din casa

n care ai intrat ieri
aici mcar o ai pe bunica
i pe cei doi veri
and no one takes you from the house

you entered yesterday
you have grandma here
and the two cousins
care au murit prea mici

ca s fi tiut c le eti verioar
dar care nu se poate s nu simt
oasele tale trase pe sfoar
who died so young

not knowing you as their cousin
but I'm am sure they felt
your bones shake
ca i ale lor
ca semn c erai din acelai neam
aici mcar nconjurai mpreun biserica
n care pe vremuri l nviam.
their bones too

it's a sign you're belong to the same family
together here you surround the church
where once we used to resurrect Him.
26
Cntai fals
You Sang Out of Tune
Cntai fals, dar aproape cu poft

lume, lume, soro lume
i toate lucrurile treceau prin faa ta
strigate pe nume.
Audacious and ignoring the tune you sang

world, world, sister world
and every thing that passed your face
you called by name.
Astfel au aprut pe rnd prietenii

i mama i tata
i preotul i lumnarea aprins
i sapa i lopata.
Friends came in turn

mother and father
the priest and a lighted candle
a hoe a shovel.
i n toat aceast tragedie

din care n-a mai fost scpare
mama era ntrebat de cineva
ct piper s pun-n mncare.
After this endless misery

from which there's no escape
someone asked our mother
how much pepper to add to the food.
Cci se pregteau sarmale i cozonaci

i se crau damigene cu vin
ca tu s pleci aa ca toat lumea
i ca lumea s uite de marele chin.
We made pound cakes and cabbage rolls

filled with spiced meat and toasted
with wine your proper departure
and our forgetfulness.
O, dac a mai fi putut s ajut cu ceva

bunoar s toc zarzavat
sau s m las eu nsmi tocat
pe toctorul acela adevrat.
If only I could somehow have helped

chopped greens or just
let myself be chopped
with that sharp chopping knife.
27
They Sat At Your Table

pe care ai stat tu trei zile
erau mai flmnzi ca niciodat
dar nimeni nu ndrznea
s se apropie i s rup
din carnea ta dulce i parfumat.
They sat at the very table

on which you lay three days
they couldn't have been hungrier
but no one dared
come closer and help themselves
to your sweet perfumed body.
Au nceput cu sufletul
aa o fi obiceiul, mi-am zis,
uitndu-m cnd la tine
cnd la gurile lor rotunjite anume
s bea aceast sfnt butur
care fcea spume
They started nibbling at your soul

this must be the custom, I told myself,
watching you
watching their mouths crimp
as they drank
a foaming holy drink.
n vreme ce era nghiit

chiar la masa aceea
fr spaim
i fr prere de ru;
luai, mncai, m-am trezit strignd,
acesta e trupul su!
They drank
at your table
fearless
shameless;
I heard myself say
Take! Eat! This is her body!
28
De zeci de ori
Ten Times
De zeci de ori pe noapte m trezesc brusc

pe scunelul cu trei picioare aezat lng tine
speriat c am scpat din mn tubul de oxigen
i tocmai atunci se putea ntmpla
acel lucru nfricotor care s-a i petrecut.
Tens times each night I jerk awake

I sit beside you on a three-legged stool
afraid I've dropped the oxygen tube
afraid it's happened
that frightening thing that finally took place.
Tu ari de fiecare dat la fel

i-ncerci s-mi zmbeti la fel ca atunci
numai c uneori stai chiar n patul acela
acoperit cu mari cercuri de ap
alteori eti acoperit cu flori.
You look each time the same

as you try to show your old smile
alone in that bed sometimes
covered by ripples of water
covered sometimes by flowers.
Nu-i nimic, mi opteti, nu s-a-ntmplat nimic

ce bine c ai adormit i tu puin
ncearc s te-aezi n pat lng mine
i eu te mint c nu snt obosit
dar nu peste mult cad iari n somn
Nothing happened, you whisper,

it's good you slept a little
come here next to me in bed
I pretend I'm not tired
but soon again I sleep
pe-acelai scunel cu trei picioare

aezat lng tine n lunga noapte
i m trezesc buimac i nu tiu unde snt
i m aplec din nou pn sub patul tu
i-nfricoat caut tubul de oxigen.
on the same three-legged stool

beside you in that long night
I wake up dizzy not knowing where I am
I look under your bed
search frightened for the oxygen tube.
29
Deschide-te
Open Up!
Dar de unde pn unde acest ntuneric

n loc de lumina promis
de unde pn unde
e ua aceasta ermetic nchis?
Why does this darkness come

instead of promised light
why is this door
sealed tight?
Sesam, deschide-te
a doua oar
a fost nchis din greal o fat
ca o comoar.
Open, Sesame
a second time
you have trapped by mistake
a girl as your treasure.
i aud respiraia nbuit

de nobil metal
i-a putea s-i vd capul pe bnuul de aur
din oul universal
I hear her breath

she chokes on heavy gases
I see her profile on a golden coin
from the common egg
n care mi se spune c s-a ntors

prin ua aceasta ermetic nchis.
A putea s-i vd capul i zmbetul neprefcut
dar unde este lumina promis?
in which I'm told she came back

through that sealed door
I see her head and earnest smile
but where's the promised light?
30
n cele patruzeci de zile
Forty Days
n patruzeci de ani n-am nvat

ct am nvat n cele patruzeci de zile
cnd nu mai aveam nevoie
de nici o nvtur.
During forty days I learned

what I wasn't able in forty years
when I didn't need
any more learning.
Nu trebuia dect s tiu s merg

pn la capt i s-mi dau drumul
n viaa de dup aceea
ca pe marginea altei prpstii.
I needed only to walk

to the end and let the after life
take me
from the edge of an abyss.
Mergeam de dimineaa pn seara

i m gndeam cum tu nu mai tii
nici mcar s mergi i cum ai s-nvei
numai n cele patruzeci de zile
I walked from morning to night

thinking you unable to walk
but would learn
in those forty days
ct au nvat alii
n patruzeci de milioane de ani
cnd nu mai aveau nevoie
de nici o nvtur.
what others learned

in forty million years
so they didn't need
to learn any more.
31
Pianjenul
The Spider
De diminea iese din ntuneric pianjenul

cu picioarele lungi i foarte fine
i se plimb o vreme prin patul
n care primesc veti de la tine.
The spider leaves the morning darkness

on long fine legs
and walks across your bed
to bring me news from you.
Dar parc te-am prins ieri diminea, zic,

dar parc erai i mai urt
dar parc mi-a fost fric de tine
dar parc mi amintesc c te-am omort.
I remember catching you

yesterday morning, I said,
uglier I feared you
I remember killing you.
Nu eram eu, ncearc el s m lmureasc,

uit-te bine la piciorul meu care se frnge
i la trupul nevinovat n care nu este
nici o pictur de snge.
It wasn't me, he tries to explain,

look closely at my broken leg
at my harmless body holding not
one drop of blood.
Las c v tiu eu, i optesc,

nu mai aducei dect veti de ru
i el mi spune c dac-l iert
la noapte voi vedea din nou sufletul tu
I know you, I whisper,

you bring bad news
but he says if I forgive him I may
commune again tonight with you
aezat undeva deasupra mea

n primvar
cnd a fost scos cu sila din carnea nmiresmat
ca din propria lui ar.
in a place somewhere beyond

in spring
in time stolen from perfumed flesh
as from its home country.
Dar nu mai pot s mai suport, strig,

i-l calc nfricoat pe podea
i-a doua zi l regsesc din nou
mergnd n linite pe tmpla mea.
I can't stand it anymore, I shout,

afraid I kill the spider on the floor
the next day again I feel him
walk quietly across my temple.
32
Din brumele reci
From Frost
Din brumele reci ale toamnei

te-ai ridicat azi ca un abur uor
i te-ai aezat pe cerul albastru
sub forma schimbtoare a unui nor.
From autumn's frost today you rose

like a feathery haze
you stretched across blue sky
in the changing shape of a cloud.
La nceput erai o feti

aplecat peste propriul su chip
ca i cum altceva nu mai poate percepe
ca i cum s-ar juca n nisip.
At first you were a little girl

studying your own face
as if you saw nothing else
willing to play forever in the sand.
ncet, ncet te-ai fcut mare

i te uitai la lucrurile de jos
cu spaim i cu ntristare
i totul i se prea frumos.
You grew slowly

watched everything
frightened and sad
all of it was beautiful to you.
Dup o vreme te-ai unit cu nc un nor

i v uitai de sus cum zboar cocorii
i cum cresc pe ceruri copiii de abur
i-apoi te-ai unit cu toi norii.
In time you joined another cloud

and both watched cranes fly
and vapor children from the sky
then all the clouds joined too.
33
Ateptare
Waiting
Atept cu spaim s se ntmple ceva

dar ce se mai poate ntmpla cu adevrat
cnd am ajuns n punctul de unde se vedea aievea
mortul pe care smerit l-am srutat.
Frightened I wait for something to happen

but really what can happen
when the moment comes to see clearly
I shyly kiss the corpse.
ncremenite toate lucrurile par

dar eu alerg ct pot mai departe
uimit c nu le mai vd dect
dintr-o singur parte.
All are struck dumb

but I run as far as I can
surprised to see them
only on one side.
Cci ele alearg n gol odat cu mine

i nimic nu mai poate s se ntmple cu adevrat
i numai eu mai sper s ajung din urm
mortul pe care smerit l-am srutat.
They run in vain next to me

nothing really can happen
my only hope to catch
the corpse I shyly kissed.
34
mi amintesc adeseori
Often I Remember
mi amintesc adeseori ntocmai

banca de piatr cenuie
pe care sttea bunicul la poart
i pe care minile mele
te-au scpat n copilrie.
Often I remember
that gray stone bench
where grandfather sat
where my hands dropped you
where we were children.
Nu ndrzneam s spun nimnui

trei zile m-am uitat la capul tu
dat de-a dura atunci
i mi se prea puin mai turtit
dect al celorlali prunci.
I couldn't tell anyone

I watched your head three days
it turned over
it seemed more flat
than other children's heads.
Acum cnd nu te mai doare nimic

capul tu de copil mare
pe care prul tuns s creasc mai des
n-a mai crescut, dar au crescut ochii
pn la tmple i pn-au ales
Nothing can hurt you now

you have a grownup head
on which they cut the hair to make it grow
thicker but it wouldn't, your eyes instead
grew into your forehead to see the way.
ct au putut ei mai bine drumul,

m urmrete de pe vechea banc
fcut dintr-o piatr de moar.
Doamne, de ce-ai lsat-o s-mi scape
din brae a doua oar.
Your child's head grown large

haunts me from that old bench
of mill-stones.
God, why did you let me drop her
from my arms a second time?
35
Sora mea de dincolo
My Sister Beyond
Sora mea de dincolo

st cu cretetul plecat
lng calul mpucat
i calul i las-n jos
aua ubred de os.
My sister beyond
keeps her head bent
near the horse shot dead
frail and bony
his saddle falls.
Nu mai pot calule sta

pe aua de os a ta
de pe care am czut
nainte de-a fi trecut
de hotarul nsemnat
cu-o creang de pom uscat.
I can't stay longer

on that bony back
I fall
waving a dry branch
even before I cross
the fatal boundary.
Las-i sufletul s stea

lng mine ca o a
la care m urc pe scar
i cobor la primvar
cnd o fi iarba-nverzit
n grdina prsit.
Let your soul stay

near me
like the saddle I mount
and then dismount in spring
when the grass
of the neglected garden greens.
Calul i strnge tcut

scheletul su desfcut
lsnd pe cellalt mal
numai sufletul de cal
peste care-i urc ea
haina ei de catifea
i-o nva cum s stea.
Silently the horse collects

his scattered skeleton
leaving only his spirit
on the other shore
she mounts his saddle
in her velvet dress
he shows her how to hold her seat.
Vine noaptea n grdin

doar suflarea lui strin
care nu mai vrea s vin
cnd e soare i lumin.
Night comes to the garden

full of strange horse-breathing
that struggles to continue
even when the sun shines.
36
I-aud paii tropind

i nrile sforind
cum sforiau altdat
i gsesc urma lsat
i tvlitura ud
unde e iarba mai crud.
I hear his hooves tramp

his nostrils snort
as they snorted in times past.
I find the trace
of his wet rolling
where the grass is greenest.
Las iarba s se ridice

i urmele s se tearg
i pe sora mea s mearg
ca pe cal peste cmpie
i s scoat ap vie.
The grass springs back

the trace vanishes
my sister rides the horse
across the plain
and drinks the water of life.
Apoi m-apropii smerit

de fntna prsit
cu cumpna rupt
unde la miezul nopii
se d marea lupt.
Meekly I approach
the deserted fountain
a broken balance
this is the place
for the midnight struggle.
Sora mea de dincolo

se mai vede doar cum pleac
pe calul ei nzdrvan
mpucat acum un an.
My sister is beyond
I see her leave
on her magic horse
that was shot one year ago.
37
Lumin
Light
Un morman de lumin apas pe pieptul ei

un imens morman de lumin
surpat din cerul ubred
i nimeni nu vrea s vin
Light's weight presses her chest

infinitely heavy light
carved from the frail sky
and no one wants to come
n amiaza mare s spun:

eu sunt cel ce-a-nflorit grdina
i cimitirul din sat
eu sunt cel ce-a fcut lumina
at noon and say:

I'm the one who made the garden flower
and the village cemetery
I'm the one who brought the light
i acum snt silit s vd

c pn i lumina poate s doar;
dar astzi am s-o iau ndrt
ca s-i fie rna uoar.
you make me see

that even light can hurt:
today I will take her back
to rest in peace.
Nimeni nu vine ca eu s pot spune:

e i mai greu ce ar putea s fie
las, Doamne, lumina i trandafirii
peste groapa ei cenuie.
No one wants to come near

and hear me tell how hard it is:
God, give light and roses
to her gray grave.
38
Acum cnd
Now Whenever
Acum cnd n lumin nu te mai pot imagina

dac ai fi n afara gndului meu
ca un lucru n sine bine ascuns
n ntunericul rece i greu.
Dac paii ei n noapte i frig
n-ar trece prin gol sau prin nea
dac ai fi chiar sub tlpile lunectoare
dac ai fi chiar sub piciorul care-o durea.
Dac ai fi chiar n acel picior
pe care n pmnt tot greu l pune
dac ai putea s umbli din nou prin artere
nu ca o slbiciune
ci ca o mare for izvort
din durerea noastr cea mai adnc;
dac ai putea s stai chiar n locul inimii ei
neclintit ca o stnc.
Now whenever I can't see you in the light

I suppose you into being outside my thoughts
something hidden
in deep icy dark.
Suppose her cold nighttime steps
don't pass through emptiness or snow
suppose you are beneath her feet
suppose you brace her painful leg.
Suppose you live within the leg
that can't bear to touch the ground
suppose again you flow through her veins
not weakness
but a force sprung large
from deepest pain;
if only you could stay in her heart
firm like a rock.
39
Rochia ta roz
Your Pink Dress
Am vzut rochia ta roz pe o fat tnr

pe care venea foarte bine
i-am vzut-o pe mama o clip
uitndu-se la ea ca la tine.
I saw a girl in your pink dress

it fit her perfectly
and I saw our mother
watch her as she'd watched you.
Trebuie s-i mai dau ceva, mi-a spus,

azi-noapte am visat c-i era frig
i-am vrut s-o strig s ia ceva pe ea
i n-am putut s-o strig.
I must give her more, Mother said,

last night I dreamed she was cold
put something on I wanted to say
but I couldn't speak.
Se ducea grbit aa cum se duce

fata asta pe drum
i era mbrcat cu rochia
cu care este ea acum.
She was in a hurry

like the girl on the road
and she wore the same dress
that girl wears.
Dar parc nu mai era a ta, am optit cu greu,

i ea a-ntors capul i mi-a zmbit
parc i-o ddusem cuiva
i m-am trezit
Seems like it's not your dress anymore, I whispered,

with difficulty she turned and smiled.
I felt myself give it to someone
then I woke up
gndindu-m cui am dat eu

rochia asta care att de mult i plcea
c umbla i pe-acolo
mbrcat cu ea.
thinking about the one who got

that dress she liked so much
wearing it
even beyond.
40
Privesc cum plou
I Watch It Rain
Privesc cum plou prin geamul uor aburit

se fac mii de cercuri n balta de pe osea
nu se mai oprete, geme pmntul de ap
vai, Doamne, cum o plou pe sora mea
din ploaia asta rece nu mai scap.
Through a cloudy window I watch it rain

a thousand tiny ripples in the roadside swamp
it doesn't stop, the earth swirls with water
oh, dear God, rain falls on my sister
she can't escape.
Cum nu mai scap? mi spune un glas,

sora ta a scpat pentru totdeauna
de vremea asta rea i schimbtoare
nu te mai teme, nu i se-ntmpl nimic -dar eu m rog smerit s fie iari soare.
She can't escape? I hear a voice

she has escaped for good
all bad and changing weather
don't be afraid, she's fine
but meekly I pray for sun.
tii, ea e puin mai sensibil, spun

privind ngrijorat pmntul cenuiu
i urma picturilor din balt;
o s rceasc i-acolo, ntotdeauna
a rcit mai uor dect lumea cealalt.
You know, she's very sensitive, I say

and watch uneasily the gray earth,
the rain's patter on the swamp;
she'll catch cold,
she always caught colds easily.
41
Let the Grass Cover Her

n-o smulgei i nu punei flori
n-ar mai fi vrut s le vad
ar fi vrut s ajung pn la primvar
i pn-n livad
Let the grass grow over her

don't tear it away don't plant flowers
she won't see them
she wanted to live until spring
to visit the orchard
pe propriile ei picioare
ar fi vrut s nu tie
chiar i atunci cnd nu mai putea respira
ar fi vrut s nu fie singur
dar toat lumea se ndeprta.
on her own legs

she didn't want to know
that her breath would fail
she didn't want to be alone
but everyone left.
O vedea ca prin vis cum se duce

o vedea ca prin apa de care e dus
n-o mai vedea deloc i-nspimntat
o revedea ca prin stratul de flori
sub care era pus.
As if dreaming they saw her go

they saw the water carry her
and lost her
frightened to later see her
under a flower bed.
Luai florile nfipte-n orbitele ei

s vad limpede ca nainte;
poate c i acuma ar mai vrea
s ias puin n cmpu-nverzit.
Lsai iarba s creasc pe ea!
Take the flowers from her eyes

so her vision's clear again
she might like
to cross the green field.
Let the grass cover her!
42
Din nou acea zi
That Day Again
Din nou acea zi de pe urm

i acel salon nfricotor
n care rudele bolnavilor nc se bucurau
c mortul nu era al lor.
That day that final day

that frightening hospital room
where families of the sick
were happy theirs hadn't died.
Atunci mi-am amintit ntia oar

cum eu nsmi am aprut
cu zmbetul pe buze n faa ta
cnd primul mort pe lng mine a trecut
That was when I remembered

the first time I came to you
a smile on my face
how that first corpse passed
fr s-l vd, cobornd cu liftul,

pe cnd eu urcnd m gndeam
ce i-a mai putea spune n ziua aceea.
A murit femeia din patul de lng geam
Thinking of what to tell you that day

I didn't see it
taking the elevator with me.
The woman in the window bed died
ai nceput tu, ca s curmi tcerea lsat

n acel salon nfricotor
n care rudele bolnavilor nc se bucurau
c mortul nu era al lor.
you said, breaking the silence

of that terrifying hospital room
where families of the sick
were happy theirs hadn't died.
43
i crescuse prul
Your Hair Grew
i crescuse prul, era pn la bru,

capul tu de statuie greceasc
nu mai sttea descoperit n ploaie
bunica venise s te-mpleteasc
ns uitase pieptenele acas
am eu un pieptene, ai vrut s zici,
dar i-aminteai c i l-am pus sub pern
i nu tiai c poi s te ridici.
Your hair grew, down to your waist,

your classic Grecian skull
did not stay uncovered in the rain
Grandma came to braid your tresses
but she left the comb at home
I have a comb, you wanted to say,
but I'd put it under your pillow
and you weren't sure you could lift yourself.
Las-m despletit, i-ai spus,

n-am voie s m pieptn ct eti tu moart
i bunica se mira c-i pori nc doliu
n vreme ce ea nsi i poart
n spate trupul nenvat cu lutul
de care parc vroia s se lepede.
Las-m despletit, ai repetat, n vreme ce prul tu
cretea mai departe ngrijortor de repede.
Leave me mussed, you told her, I won't

comb my hair while you are dead
your continued mourning surprised Grandma
as she carried your body
not yet accustomed to the grave's clay
she seemed to want to drop you.
Leave me mussed, you repeated
as your hair grew alarmingly fast.
44
You Woke That Night

s vezi dac e nvelit
i ea se fcea c doarme
cu un picior afar
din ptura pufoas
alunecat n primvar.
You woke that night

to see if she was covered
she pretended sleep
one leg outside
a fluffy blanket
that slid into spring.
E un anotimp neltor,
mi spuneai,
o s-mi rceasc nc o dat,
i ntr-adevr tremura
sub mna ta nghea
This is a tricky season,

you told me,
she will be cold again,
she trembled indeed
under your icy hand
lsat peste ea n ntuneric

pe patul din scnduri de brad
pe care s-a ntins
nfricoat alturi de tine
i s-a dezvelit dinadins.
that touched her

on that bed
stretched next to you
she lay frightened
intentionally uncovering herself.
45
Ceremonie
Funeral Service
Morii i ngropau un mort tnr

l scoteau dintre ei nainte de vreme
i-i pupau minile i plngeau
i se vedea pe el c se teme
The dead were burying a child

they took before his time
they kissed his hands and wept
he was afraid
c va ajunge iari pe pmnt

aa cum sta pe spate
numai cu sufletul eliberat
i putred doar pe jumtate.
he'd return to earth

lying on his back
only his soul was free
but halfway decomposed.
Tu stteai lng el neclintit

ca o rud a lui apropiat
i preai ngrozit c se-ntorcea
unde-a trit altdat.
Still, you stood beside him

as if you were a relative
afraid he'd come back
to where he'd lived some other time.
Era un mort total necunoscut

i m uitam la tine cum l strngi
la pieptul tu ca pe un frate
i-mi prea bine c-l plngi.
I didn't know the dead one

and watched how you hugged him
held him to your chest like a brother
and was glad you wept for him.
46
Cel nscut din mori
The Life Born From Death
Cel nscut din mori era fiul tu

i-am vzut capul de copil btrn
cu sprncenele crescute pn n ochi
i urma dinilor nfipi n sn.
Born from your death your son

I saw his wrinkled infant head
eyebrows grown close to his eyes
and dents from his teeth on your breast.
L-am nscut uor, mi spuneai,

parc eram nvat
cu durerea naterii lui
parc l mai fcusem odat.
I bore him easily, you told me,

like I was accustomed
to life-giving pain
as I seem fated to bear again.
El nsui tiuse ce-avea s se-ntmple

de la vestirea c va s vie
pn la uciderea pruncilor
i pn la noua copilrie.
He knew how it would go

from his birth announcement
to the slaughter of the infants
to the second childhood.
Era un copil care tia dinainte totul

capul lui prea s fie nsi Ideea
atta nu tia, c tu erai mama lui
i c l-ai nscut cu adevrat dup aceea.
The child knew it all from the start

his mind was the Thought
but he did not know you were his mother
and afterward you delivered him.
47
Erai robul umil
You Were the Meek Slave
Erai robul umil al calului ei

i duceai dimineaa ovzul pe o tav de aur
i-i lustruiai copitele i i-era fric de ele
ca de capetele unui balaur.
You were her horse's meek drudge

each morning giving him oats on a golden tray
polishing his hooves
though fearing them as dragons' heads.
La ea nu ndrzneai s-i mai ridici privirea

ea te domina de departe prin zmbetul pur
i prin lumina aceea foarte curat
pe care o rspndea mprejur.
You didn't dare watch

her rule you with her trusting smile
that blazing light
she spread everywhere.
Ea te-ar fi dezlegat dar nu se mai putea

nu mai aveai nimic cu sufletul ei rar
erai numai robul calului argintiu
cu care trecuse peste hotar.
She would have freed you if it were possible

you didn't share her spirit anymore
merely the meek slave of the silver horse
she rode across the borderland.
Mie mi se fcuse i mil i sil

de chinurile tale foarte treze
i m rugam de calul frumos din visul meu
s te elibereze.
Revolted I pitied
you in your torture
I prayed my handsome dream horse
would set you free.
48
Ajunsesem la ea
I Reached Her
Ajunsesem la ea, bteam la poart,

i-am auzit glasul uor nbuit
i paii de dincolo de zidul de piatr
i-am nceput s strig c am venit.
I arrived, knocked at her gate,

heard her muffled voice
her steps from behind the stone wall
I started to shout, I'm here.
Cine eti, m-a-ntrebat, i pe cine caui

nu mai tiu cnd i unde am fost fericii
surorile mele snt fetele moarte
la treizeci i trei de ani nemplinii.
Who are you? she asked, whom do you seek?

I can't recall when or where we were happy
my sisters are dead nearly thirty-three
since they died.
Nu-i aminteti de mine, m rugam,

i-am adus anemone i cartofi copi
i-am stat neclintit la capul tu
apte zile i apte nopi.
Please remember me, I begged,

I bring buttercups and baked potatoes
unmoving I stood at your head
seven nights and seven days.
Ai murit n braele mele, vroiam s-i mai spun,

dar nu avea cine mai spune i nu avea cui
ea-mi deschisese poarta, dar eu tocmai aflasem
c nimeni nu moare n braele nimnui.
You died in my arms, I wanted to say,

but there was no one to speak or hear it
although she opened the gate, I found
that no one dies in someone's arms.
49
Lying Next To You

pe locul de veci al bunicilor
de unde se poate vedea n biseric
pn-n altar
ateptam s ias cu sfntul dar.
I lay next to you

in our grandparents' tomb
in view
of the church altar
in wait for the holy sacrament.
Lumea era gtit ca altdat

sta n genunchi cu spatele spre noi
nimeni nu tia c eram ngropat
dac m-ar fi strigat a fi rspuns
de sub lespedea plat
People were dressed as long ago

they knelt showing me their backs
no one knew I was entombed
but had they called I would have answered
from beneath that flat tombstone
pe care o trsesem ncet

fr s-mi dau seama
cum a trage o oal
sub care dormeam mpreun
lsndu-te pe jumtate goal.
which bit by bit I drew

not knowing why
as if pulling up a blanket
under which we together we slept
leaving you half bare.
Priveam ctre altar nspimntat

nu tiam de ce nu mai iese cu sfntul dar
i-mi prea ru c nimeni nu mai vine
noroc c ie i s-a fcut foarte frig
i c ai tras lespedea de pe mine.
I looked frightened toward the altar

wondering why the sacrament didn't come,
sorry no one visited
it was my luck that you felt cold
and pulled the tombstone from me.
50
Dar dac totui
Suppose
Din nou mi porunceti s te ridic

i eu te ridic iari la fel de greu
i te reazim speriat de zidul rece
i te sprijin cu trupul meu
Again you demand I lift you

once more I barely can
afraid I prop you against the cold wall
support you with my body
i te trag ncet pe marginea patului

i-mi spui nc o dat c nu te mai doare
i-mi pare ru c nu pot nici acum
s te ridic n picioare.
bit by bit I pull you to the bed's edge

you tell me again you don't feel pain
I'm sorry I can't get you to stand
not even now.
Mai stai puin, te rog nfricoat,

o s pornim acum, mai stai puin
i te aez la loc i te veghez din nou
cu marele chin
Stay a bit longer, I plead, I'm afraid

we'll walk in a moment first stay a while
I let you down and I watch over you
such pain
c n-am putut ndeplini ntocmai

porunca repetat ca un ecou;
Doamne, mi zic, dar dac totui
din acea clip ar fi mers din nou.
I could not fill

that order repeated like an echo;
God, I ask myself, what if
she would have walked again?
51
n dreptul sfntului
Opposite a Saint
Din nou te-ai aezat aici pe scri

n dreptul sfntului Nicolae
acoperindu-l cu bun-tiin i tronnd
n locul lui peste odaie.
Again you sat on the steps

opposite Saint Nicholas
knowing you eclipsed him
making the room not his but yours.
D-te jos din faa sfntului, te rog

tu mi l-ai atrnat n acest cui
i mi-ai spus c poart noroc fetelor srace
i-acum te-ai aezat n dreptul lui.
Turn away please,

you said, you hung him here
because he brings poor girls good luck
and now you oppose him.
I-ai acoperit cartea i ochii

c numai aura lui desenat ru
se mai vede n noaptea aceasta
deasupra capului tu
You conceal his book his eyes

only his aura
can be seen
tonight above your head.
care se mic sub lumina ei

de parc-abia acum nva cum s-o poarte
i mi spune ceva foarte neclar
cu limb de moarte.
Your head crept into that light,

learned how to wear it.
(She whispers something indistinct
on her deathbed.)
52
Nu te mai pot vedea
I Can't See You Anymore
Nu te mai pot vedea aa cum erai

n gol vd faa luminoas i minile tale
trupul din care durerea s-a stins disprut este
s te mai pot vedea ar fi o singur cale.
I can't see you this way any more

your bright face and your hands
your scorched pain your lost body
there's only one way for me to see you again.
Acum cnd nu-mi mai apari nici mcar n vis

s te mai pot vedea ar fi o singur cale
i gndul meu apuc pe ea nebun;
dar dac nu este nici calea aceea mi spun.
You don't even come to my dreams

there's only one way to see you again
my imagination takes this way
but what if it's the wrong way.
53
Un oarece de cmp
A Field Mouse
Un oarece de cmp umbl prin cimitirul satului

gata, zice, aici este un cmp i nimic altceva,
i eu m uit la el cum trece linitit
prin iarb proaspt crescut deasupra ta.
A field mouse scampers in the graveyard

just a field, nothing else, he says
I watch his quiet passage
through new grass grown over you.
Cum un cmp? strig revoltat

nu vezi fcliile care i ies n drum
i coroanele vetede i crucea de lemn
de care te-ai izbit chiar acum?
Just a field? I shout angrily

didn't you see those candles on your way
those faded wreaths that wooden cross
you hit just now?
Unde ai gsit aici semine-ngropate

ai nceput i tu s rozi oase
i s hotrti singur ce e negru i ce e alb
nu i miroase
You found buried seeds

and started gnawing bone
deciding on your own what's black
or white Can't you smell
a mort n iarba aceasta unduitoare

prin care umbli sigur pe tine i tmp?
Nu, mi rspunde, trecnd napoi linitit
peste mormntul tu un oarece de cmp.
death in this wavy grass in which

you scamper safe and stupid?
No, the field mouse answers,
softly passing over your grave.
54
Din nou celul alb
Again the White Dog
Din nou celul alb, cu iepurele-n gur

mai mare dect el, cumplita fric
l-a prins nainte de vreme i l-a adus
sub ochii ti de cnd erai mic.
Again the white dog, with a rabbit

bigger than he is in his mouth, trembling
with fear this rabbit caught before its time
and brought before your child eyes.
Stpnul nfricotor ateapt

s-l smulg i s sfie-n tcere
nsngerata blan
murmurnd de plcere.
A menacing hunter
sighing with quiet delight waits
to remove
its bloodstained fur.
Nu mai pot s vd, ai strigat,

nu i-l mai smulge din gur
mai curnd a putea s gust iari
spaima aceea pur
I can no longer watch, you shout,

don't take it away its mouth
I'd prefer
to taste that pure fear.
cu care ultima oar

ca i fr trup
ncolcit la picioarele tale
ncepusem s rup.
As before
coiled at your feet
bodiless
I started to tear it off.
Nu mai pot s vd, ai strigat

i m-am trezit i nu m-am mai culcat
i stpnul lua pielea de pe iepurele nc viu
sub strigtul tu disperat.
I can no longer watch, you shout

I wake and don't go back to sleep
the hunter skins the rabbit alive
against your desperate shout.
55
Gura ca un pianjen
A Mouth Like a Spider
Gura ca un pianjen ese n jurul ei

vorbe, vorbe, vorbe i nimic altceva
o pnz subire care acoper golul
i care mult vreme nu poate rezista.
Like a spider the mouth weaves around itself

words, words, just words
a thin web stretches across the void
and quickly disappears.
mi amintesc de vremea cnd tu nsi vorbeai

e drept, mai puin dect mine i dect oricine
i golul din tine era nvelit n vorbe frumoase
ca s scapi de spaim i de ruine.
I remember when you spoke less

than me or anyone it's true
inner vacancy hid behind beautiful words
they covered your fear your shame.
Acum cnd pnza cenuie a vorbelor e rupt

i pe buzele tale ade pmntul bine aezat
ca zmbetul neprefcut cu care te-ai dus
cnd pianjenul vorbitor s-a urcat
Now when the silver word-web is broken

when your lips are soiled
by lies like your death smile
when the talking spider climbs
pe zidul rece al casei tale ntunecoase

i poi s-l apuci ca pe-o gnganie ntre degete
de ce mna ta care-ar putea s-l opreasc
ncepe s pregete?
the cold wall of your dark house

and you can catch him between your fingers
why does the hand that can stop him
hesitate?
56
Aa m gndeam
I Thought Like This
Duceam din urm trei mnji argintii

m uitam cum luceau cnd i btea soarele
unul s-ar putea s-i rup gtul m gndeam
altul s-ar putea s-i frng picioarele.
I led three silver foals

watched them gleam in the sun's rays
one might I think break his neck
another might break his legs.
Calul ei tnr pe care-a plecat n seara aceea

a-mbtrnit pn a doua zi la prnz
trebuie s pot ajunge la ea
mcar cu un mnz.
She left that night on a horse

that was old by the next day
I must go to her
on a foal.
Pe ea trebuie s-o caut prin ntuneric

ca i cum ar fi n lumin
pe mnz trebuie s-l nv s zburde prin gol
ca prin grdin.
I must seek her in darkness

pretending it's light
I must trot the foal through emptiness
as he would frolic in a meadow.
ncolo nu mai am nimic de fcut

ncolo totul vine de la sine
aa m gndeam azi-noapte mnnd
trei mnji argintii ctre tine.
Let no one say

I can do nothing
these were my thoughts last night
leading three foals in your direction.
57
I Couldn't Reach You
Dac eu plng acuma

tu pentru ce s plngi
tu nu ai nici o sor
care-a intrat n hor
la cele apte frumoase
unde Ieroida
st-n prag s le vad
cu ultima prad.
If you see me cry

that's no reason for your tears
you have no sister
who dances
with the beautiful seven
where Ieroida
watches
the final ravaging.
Astzi am vzut hora

a ta i-a tuturora
a trecut pe sub curcubeu
i s-a fcut convoi
i s-a oprit o vreme
n poart la noi.
I saw the dance today

you and everyone
as you passed under the rainbow
it became a convoy
and paused
in front of our gate.

am plns n delir
era lume mult
era toat lumea
ndreptat spre cimitir.
I couldn't reach you

with fury I wept
many people were there
all of them
going to the cemetery.
58
Va veni o vreme
A Time Will Come
Va veni o vreme cnd m voi gndi

unde eram eu cnd scriam aceste rnduri,
din care parte btea vntul i soarele
i cum mi ineam n scaunul acela electric
minile i picioarele.
A time will come when I'll think

about where I wrote these lines,
the direction of the wind and the sun
and what made me keep my arms and legs
in that electric chair.
59
Vis i realitate
Dream and Reality
Bradul din faa casei mele

era ct muntele de mare
celulele crescute aiurea n oldul tu
erau ct un lagr de concentrare.
The fir tree before my house

was high as a mountain,
those cells that grew inside your hip
were as monstrous as a concentration camp.
Tu erai singura deinut

tu stpneai lagrul monstruos
fr mil i fr-ndurare
tu aveai n mijlocul lui un os
You were the only prisoner

you ruled that monstrous camp
with no compassion or mercy
in the center you had a bone,
ridicat asemenea unei spnzurtori

n care carnea ta va fi atrnat
tu erai bradul din faa muntelui
pe care erai urcat
a bone like the gallows

from which you'll hang
you were the fir tree that stood
before the mountain you climbed
de tine nsi ca de soldaii mprteti

pui s trag la sori marea ta arsur
strns pe trupul plin de vnti
ca o cma fr nici o custur.
helped by royal soldiers

who cast lots for the smock
from your bruised body
as for a seamless shirt.
60

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Sora mea de dincolo / My Sister Beyond Trans from Romanian by Doru Radu and JoAnne Growney (Paralela 45,

Sora mea de dincolo

Translated into English by

About the poet

Ileana Mlncioiu s-a nscut la 23 ianuarie 1940, n

Ileana Mlncioiu was born on January 23rd, 1940 in the village

About the translators

Radu Doru Cosmin este profesor de limba englez. Locuiete

(2003) Radu Doru Cosmin is an English teacher from Deva,

JoAnne Growney e poet. Locuiete n Bloomsburg,

(2003) JoAnne Growney is a poet from Bloomsburg,

Radu i Growney au tradus mpreun poezii de George

Radu and Growney have also translated together work by

M-ateptasem s fii numai tu

Ca nite simple bijuterii

nti n-am putut s cred

Sora mea, mprteasa

Nu te-ai dus de tot

M-ai privit ndelung

Stteau chiar la masa aceea

Cel ce sttea de gard

Mi-a fost fric

n cele patruzeci de zile

Sora mea dus de ape

Muntele nu mai era acelai munte

It's not the same mountain

cruia i spuneam tat

naintea lui mergea sora noastr

Our sister walked before him

Smerit m-am rugat s fie iertat

Meekly I begged her forgiveness

Sora mea a strivit capul arpelui

My sister crushed the snake's head

St pe iarb de parc nu ar mai ti

It lies in the grass as if it doesn't know

Cineva o strig pe sora mea

Somebody shouts at my sister

n somnul dulce-al sufletului ei

In her soul's sweet sleep

nti n-am putut s cred

At First I Could Not Believe It

nti n-am putut s cred c erai acolo

I couldn't believe at first you were there then

n cele din urm a trebuit s accept

Finally I had to accept

Ca s l fac s treac ntr-un fel

I wanted to make time fly

Apoi i-l desfceam tot la fel de ncet

Then slowly I undid it

i-abia trziu, cnd nu mai puteam atepta

Only later, when I could wait no more

Nu m-am nspimntat, n-am plns

I wasn't frightened, I didn't cry

Ce vesele cntece cntau

Such happy songs

cu mtile lipite de obrajii supi

Masks clung to hollow cheeks

Cci pn i tristeea se dusese

ntr-un mod ngrozitor de firesc

in a shocking way it was natural

Dac n-a putut s ia capul tu

If He couldn't have your head

O, cum sperai c vei merge iari